Seattle Mom Blogs

I thought with the beginning of the school year quickly approaching, now would be a good time to re-visit a back-to-school post from days past, originally published October, 2008.

 

Every morning it is the same old routine around here. I get up way earlier than Id really like to, make the excruciating decision between getting my caffeine fix from half a pot of coffee or go the quicker route of grabbing an icy cold Diet Coke from the fridge, and get on with the business of packing lunches for my school-bound children.

Once I read about a mother who organizes her pantry with special bins, each containing a type of food to put in a childs lunchbox. I am not that mother.

First, my pantry is much too small for over-sized totes filled only with enough snacky items for a weeks worth of lunches and even if it were I think I could come up with about a thousand other items (cough, Pepperidge Farm Cookies, cough, cough) to fill my shelves. Second, I am just not that organized. Did I mention that I have a small pantry?

Instead, I look in the general area (and I use the term area loosely, as sometimes the areas of my non-organized pantry blend into one another, making them completely indistinguishable from each other) of the carbohydrate section and decide on a bread with which to make the sandwiches for the day. White or wheat? White or wheat? These are tough decisions.

Then, I rest for a minute and drink my caffeine.

After I am a little more alert, I check the deli drawer for fresh meat and decide whether today will be a turkey and havarti day or a peanut butter and jelly day. You just never know in my house. When the sandwiches are made, it is time to check the fruit situation (and no, fruit snacks even the really, really good ones, dont count).

This could go one of two ways. Either a fresh fruit item, like a banana or cut up apple, will make its way to the lunchboxes or something resembling real fruit, like a fruit cup, will be the choice of the day. I know, it is a highly complex form of decision making that only the inside of my head can determine and is greatly influenced by how quickly that aforementioned caffeine has made its way into my bloodstream.

On to the extras part of the lunch building task and this is even more complex, dont say I didnt warn you!

Granola bars, fruit leathers, crackers, popcorn, nuts, pretzels . . . how does one choose? I like to close my eyes and grab the first two items that my hand lands on.

I told you it was complex.

After adding a dairy item, like yogurt or a string cheese, the lunches are almost complete. . .

Drinks!

I forgot drinks! I race down to the refrigerator in the garage, where we keep all the beverages. I make yet another difficult choice between water, apple juice or the sports drink du jour in todays case, Gatorade, which is an excellent choice as long as my sons do not suck their entire mouths into the spout while drinking it thus giving themselves a semi-permanent blue stain around their lips for the remainder of the school day. This is especially fun when it is picture day.

Add a napkin, a cold pack and zip it up. Voila! Lunch is done, and it only took me 10 minutes! 10 minutes that I could have spent sleeping, but there are no lengths to a mothers love and the need to pack a nutritious lunch for her offspring, each and every day.

Now, lets just hope they eat what I packed and do not trade their entire lunch for one Ding Dong.

What are your time saving tips for packing lunches for school-aged children? Do you have a system, or do you just wing it like I do? Id love to hear your strategy! And if youre the mother with the bins, I dont even want to hear about it, okay? (said with a smile because secretly Im totally jealous of those bins)

Carrie can be found hanging out at her personal blog Stop Screaming I’m Driving! where she is kept busy wrangling three kids, one goofy Aussie, and her very own firefighter. She can be bribed with lattes and offers to do her laundry. Please send column suggestions to carrieb at seattle mom blogs dot com.

Before I came to the United States, the concept of letting a child choose was a very alien one.

I know that makes us sound like a bunch of tyrants but those were once some of your parenting concepts in, like, times of yore. Sadly, they are still our present-day philosophies. Children are meant to be seen and not heard. Speak only when you’re spoken to. My way or the high way.

I first learnt of “limiting choices” at my older daughter’s cooperative preschool, which I’d first joined because it was close to where I’d lived in Redmond, and because it was very affordable. There were monthly compulsory parenting education classes we had to attend as part of our commitment, and I then learnt how to offer choices to my then 3.5 year old.

“Would you like to stand up or would you like me to help you stand up?”

“Would you like milk or water?”

“Would you like to clean up your toys now or after we have lunch?”

I thought it was genius. Not only did I get what I want as a parent – to make my child eat and drink what I thought was appropriate, clean up, stand up – the child also had some measure of control over the very simple act of making a choice, which in turn gave them some satisfaction and happiness in their little daily lives.

And then I attended ANOTHER parenting class about nutrition, and we talked about power struggles over food. The nutritionist had advised that the best course of action was to:

1) accept that you have NO control what they will or will not eat

2) accept that our role as the cook was only to offer healthy choices at the dinner table and not to force the food down their little throats

Again, alien. In Malaysia, scores of parents, nannies and babysitters still sit down with a spoon in one hand and a bowl of rice in the other, in front of the TV, feeding the kids until perhaps middle school when the children themselves feel embarrassed by it (at about age 10 or 11?).

The method was fast (20 minutes tops), it was efficient and tidy (no spills, rice on the carpet, etc). And then the grownups can have a sit-down meal in peace. Who cares about learning table manners and quality family time when you don’t have to deal with messy kids, power struggles and WASTE?

Waste is perhaps the biggest issue I have with this “live and let eat” philosophy, for which is more important to your child? Giving them a chance to listen to their bodies, or having them learn not to waste food? Nutritionists and other parents have suggested maybe letting my kids take what they want (instead of me making sure they take a little of everything). They almost always end up taking a piece of bread and nothing else, so it’s back to square one.

We’ve also adopted the “No Thank You” bite rule (thanks Skye!) where they HAVE to take one obligatory bite before saying they don’t want it. And that’s what they usually do.

My dear husband has suggested cooking the same dishes every day, dishes I know they will want to eat. That is NO way to live.

In the end, I decided waste (especially in our tough economic climate) was a more important lesson. And so, we’ve gone back to our Malaysian roots but with an American twist: I make a special bowl, rice with whatever I cook that they may not have eaten before and would normally not voluntarily eat if I let them choose, and I mix it all up like a salad or a savory rice. I split the rice up into two bowls, and then give them a choice of ten spoons or 15 spoons (gauging from the amount I’ve given them). It has worked like a miracle. They usually have only a vague idea of what they’re eating (pork or carrots or noodles). Once in a while, they will pick out something they don’t like but very rarely. In the end, they really don’t care if they know they have a choice – ten or 15 spoons, and I’m done. There’s no wastage, the kids learn to eat new and exotic types of food (even if they may not know it) and they still have a small measure of control.

Limiting choices IS genius, I tell ya.

So what are YOUR ideas for reconciling waste and want at mealtimes? Come share!

Read more of Jennifer Tais writing atThe I’mPerfect Momor enjoy her photos atwww.jennifertai.net. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Tea Leaf Journals, email jenn[at]theimperfectmom[dot]com.

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