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Seattle Mom Blogs

A Community for Blogging Mothers in Greater Seattle and the East Side

The Bloggy Chiropractor, Step 3: Analyze and refocus

Posted by Bananas On September - 9 - 2008

This is step 3 in The Bloggy Chiropractor 3-step program, in which we work on correcting our blog/life balance.

In this session, we’re going to focus on analyzing our blogging. Then we’ll use this self-analysis to make positive change.

Ready?

Good.

Analyze it

Pull out a clean sheet of paper and a good pen. Put on some jazzy music and pour yourself a glass of wine. It’s time for some introspection, baby!

Think about these questions.

1) Why do I blog?

2) What about blogging stresses me out?

3) What do I do under the guise of “blogging” purely because of habit, or because I think I should?

4) What do I truly enjoy about blogging?

5) What are my goals from blogging?

These are tough questions, so don’t expect that you’ll get them answered all pat with your t’s crossed and i’s dotted the first go-round. Take a stab and then let it simmer for a few days. Revisit your answers and make edits. When you feel good about your list, move on to the next step.

Refocus

Pull out the brainstorming you did. I’m going to walk you through how to use that information to refocus your blogging efforts.

1) Why do you blog

Look at the reasons that you wrote down. Evaluate each reason for the following:

- is this healthy?
- is this realistic?
- is this maintainable?
- is blogging the best way to accomplish this goal?

This isn’t easy. These questions require a lot of self-reflection and honesty. But it’s worth it.

2) What about blogging stresses me out?

3) What do I do under the guise of “blogging” purely because of habit, or because I think I should?

The next part is easy. I want you to look at what you wrote down for #2 and #3.

Now stop doing every single one of them. Seriously, STOP. Don’t do those things until you feel like you want to again. No matter how important you think they are.

You know what? Youprobably won’tmiss them.

4) What do I truly enjoy about blogging?

Now that you’ve cut out a whole lot of stuff from #2 and #3, you have more time. Give yourself permission to spend MORE time doing the things that you enjoy.

Every time you feel drawn to do something under #2 or #3, consult this list and choose something here instead.

5) What are my goals for blogging?

Look at your blog as it is today. Is this blog in line with your goals? If not, how can you bring it in line with your goals?

Create an action plan of at least three concrete things you can do to move your blogging activities more in line with your long-term goals.

To infinity and beyond

I wish I could say “goodbye and you’re healed.”

But the truth is, this is a process.

The next time you feel like you’re getting in over your head, do a bloggy detox and take a 2-week vacation. Or re-read step 2. Or go through the answers for step 3. Or redo the whole process.

It’s your turn

Now I want to hear from you… your thoughts on the process. Where are you at? What are you excited about? Let’s motivate and inspire each other, shall we?

Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburns humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for On Blogging, email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

The Bloggy Chiropractor, Step 2: Controlled blogging

Posted by Bananas On September - 2 - 2008

This is step2 in The Bloggy Chiropractor 3-step program, in which we work on correcting our blog/life balance.

For the first part of this journey, you were told totake a 2-week blog vacation.

Did you do it?

If yes, good for you! Now we can get down to the rest of the readjustment.

If no, I’m sorry butI have to tell youthat youDO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200. GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL. And by “jail” I mean, step 1. You should be ashamed of yourself.

For the rest of us,

Now that you have some perspective, and maybe even a clean closet, it’s time for step 2.

During the bloggy vacation you might have found that it was uncomfortable at times. You found yourself with a few minutes and nothing to do and your instinct was to turn to the computer… but wait! You’re on vacation from that!

This discomfort is good, because it means that you are RETRAINING yourself. Your old (BAD) habit is to turn to blogging all the time. You are creating new (GOOD) habits in which you refocus on life.

You know you’re on the right track when you have an hour before bed and you decide to pick up the house… plan dinner for tomorrow…read a book… use that dusty old treadmill…

Once you get to this point, you’ll remember how it was that you USED to get things done. You did them.

You are on the path to recovery.

In step 2, we will reintroduce blogging while keeping it from becoming an all-consuming life-sucking creature.

There are two options for doing this. Choose the one that feels most comfortable for you.

Option 1: scheduled blogging

In option 1, we set a firm schedule for blogging and stick to it. Maybe it’s every evening from 9-11pm. Or in the morning at 6am. Or during the kids’ naps for an hour. Whatever makes sense to you; the trick here is to set a schedule (write it down! post it!) and then follow it.

Option 2: blogging within guidelines

Option 2 is more flexible, less rigid, but possibly more risky. It can easily morph into out-of-control, addictive blogging, so watch yourself.

In this option, we prioritize blogging by settingclear guidelines about when and how much we blog.

For example, “I blog for no more than45 minutes each day,” or “I may only blog if I’ve exercised and the dishes are done,” or”I only blog when I’ve accomplished three items from my to-do list for the day.”

The trick is to create guidelines that are:

Explicit - it should be absolutely crystal clear when you can and cannot blog. Nothing wishy-washy like, “I’ll blog when I have most of my stuff done.”

Realistic- set guidelines that you can actually follow. Although it would be nice to say that we’ll only blog after we’ve done EVERYTHING on our to-do list, if your list is like mine,that’s just not gonna happen.

Making yourself accountable

For both of these options, the trick is inpolicing our own behavior. As you and I both know, we wouldn’t be in this three-step program if we were good at that!

First off, write down your guidelines and post them in a visible place. Tell your family members so that they can keep you accountable.

Remember that list of things that you need and want to do, that you made in step 1? Keep that list! Hang it next to your guidelines! Each and every time you find yourself sneaking over to the computer, look at the list and pick something else to do besides blogging.

Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburns humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for On Blogging, email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

The Bloggy Chiropractor, Step 1: Take two weeks off

Posted by Bananas On August - 19 - 2008

This is step 1 in The Bloggy Chiropractor 3-step program, in which we work on correcting our blog/life balance.

For the first part of this journey, the bloggychiropractor prescribes that you take a MANDATED blog vacation of a minimum of 2 weeks.

WHAT!?! you may gasp, TWO WEEKS?! I CAN’T DO THAT!

I’m here to tell you that you can.

And you should.

It’ll be good for you. Seriously.

I know because I did it.

And now I’m here to walk you through it.

Why a blog vacation?

Taking at least two weeks off from blogging is the natural starting place on this journeybecause it gives us a little thing called perspective. It’s really, really hard… impossible, even… to have perspective when we’re down in the trenches of bad habits. It’s only when we come up for air and start living life again that we can see clearly.

I am mandating two weeks (minimum!) because we need at least that long to really get perspective. One week is too short. And although four weeks would be EVEN BETTER… let’s be honest. If I told you to take a month, would you? I didn’t think so.

How to take a blog vacation

But what about my blog?!

The easiest way to take a blog vacationis to just stop blogging- cold turkey- for two weeks. I honestly think that for most of us this little blip in our blogging activity would go relatively unnoticed in the grand old blogosphere.

However. If you’re too scared to do this (like me!) another option is to sit down for a couple of hours and write out enough posts to carry your blog through during the time that you’ll be actively NOT blogging. Set the posts to go up automatically and then don’t look back. Trust me, your readers will never know that you’re not really there behind the curtain.

But what will I DO?!

Now, before you kick off your vacation, I want you to write out a list of all the things you’ve been wanting and needing to do.

…organize the closet
…submit an article for publication
…start an exercise program
…research a new camera
…read that one book
…sign up for salsa dancing lessons

We all have those things that we’ve had on the back burner for a year or two or twenty… write them down! Star the ones that you’re excited about. Decorate your list using markers and stickers and fancy paper. Get excited about the possibility of GETTING STUFF DONE!

Now post the list on the fridge or (better) over the top of your computer screen.

Note: This in no way is meant to imply that you should accomplish everything on your list during the 2-week time period. The list is merely a means to remind you of ALL THE OTHER THINGS that you can do instead of blogging. You know, in case you need reminding.

What about the rules?!

Ok, for those of you who need RULES, here they are.

While on bloggy vacation there shall be:

1) No blogging
2) No checking your stats
3) No reading comments
4) No checking your reader. Don’t even THINK about looking at it.
5) You can choosea few of your favoriteblogs to read. You may not comment on these blogs; however, as you should ONLY be reading them for enjoyment.

Now, in the words of the sneakers, JUST DO IT.

Then check back in two weeks to read Step 2!

Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburns humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for On Blogging, email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

The Bloggy Chiropractor 3-Step Program

Posted by Bananas On August - 18 - 2008

I confessed in my last post that I have been feeling a seriousneed for a readjustment. Something to get me and my bloggy ways back into balance.

Some of you havetold me that you’re right there with me. That you feel bogged down by blogging. Overwhelmed. Not sure what to do next.

And so, I’mkicking off a seriesof postsdevoted to thistopic.

I give you… The Bloggy Chiropractor!

You know you need a visit to the Bloggy Chiropractor when

  • You feel overwhelmed and out of control.
  • You spend most or all of your spare time blogging.
  • Your family says you blog too much.
  • You blog instead of doing your chores. Regularly.
  • You feel like blogging is taking over your life.
  • You think that blogging is hurting your relationships.
  • You feel like blogging is making you a worse mother/wife/sister/girlfriend/employee.
  • You are tempted to quit blogging altogether.
  • You feel trapped.
  • You’re ashamed of how much you blog. You hide it… you lie about it. You know it’s unhealthy but you just. can’t. stop.

You’re not alone! The Bloggy Chiropractor is HERE!

Together we can kick this blogging addiction and take control of our lives.

It is possible to blog AND have a life! Let’s prove it together!

Over the next few weeks I’ll roll out a three-step program that’s designed to get us out of the bloggy rut and back into a healthy blog/lifebalance.

I hope you’ll join me!

Step 1: Take two weeks off

That’s me in the spotlight losing my religion (Alternate title: I went to BlogHer and almost decided to quit blogging)

Posted by Bananas On August - 17 - 2008

Every year after BlogHer, two or three big-name bloggers and a whole bunch of not-so-big (but every bit as important)bloggers throw in the towel and quietly slip away into the obscurity of real life.

The rest of us bloggers howl in surprise, throw our hands in the air and gasp CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!while deep down inside we’re wondering if next year that will be us.

This year, amidst the chaoticBlogHer swagalicious love fest, I finally got it.

I was standing in a steaming hot shower washing off a long day’s small talk and big talk and party talk when the waters seemed to part and one thought stood clear in my mind.

I need to stop blogging.

In that moment, I saw my life as it is now, and I saw it as it could be without the blog.

And, in that moment, the sans-blog life looked pretty darn good.

For the first time I honestly acknowledged the toll that blogging takes on my time, my energy, my relationships, my LIFE.

But let’s be honest with each other here; this WASN’T the first time I realized the toll that blogging takes on my time, energy, and relationships.Right? Right.

No, the difference this night is that before I always thought it was worth it. In this moment, I realize thatit isn’t.

Something about being at BlogHer made me see with frighteningclarityhow CAUGHT UP we all have become in what too often amounts to a massive popularity contest… an ultimate expression of selfishness and egomania.

“LOOK AT ME” each woman seems to shout, “I AM IMPORTANT!”

And while I believe from the bottom of my heart that every woman is important, I also believe that this realization is the beginning, not the end of our journey.

Reveling in our self-importance, our uniqueness, our specialness… stopping here is not a good thing.

Rather we should claim our importance and thenmove forward to do something important with our lives.To make a difference in the lives around us… to make our short time here meaningful.

The thing that scares me the most about blogging is that something so shallow should take up so much of my precious time.

I count myself lucky that I had this realization while in SF, because I was able to have real conversations with a handful of friends, most of whom have blogged much longer than I have. All expressed similar fears and concerns. One has since stopped blogging. Another has published her intent to back off.

And me?

I’m torn.

On one hand, I think that my in-the-shower moment was probably dead on. That I need to move on with my life.

On the other hand, I feel that maybe I can transform the role that blogging plays in my life to something better. Something enriching.

Because the truth is, there is a part of blogging that is good for me. The writing. The creativity. The introspection.

Is it possible to harness the good and minimize the bad?

I want to believe that what I need is a readjustment… a visit to the great bloggy chiropractor, if you will. So I’m on a mission to do just that. To find balance.

Over the next few weeks, I plan to do some posts here on steps that I’m taking to get myself readjusted… closer to where I want to be; to a place where blogging is contributing positively to my life.

But for now I want to hear from you. Where do you stand on this issue? Have you ever considered giving up blogging? And what are your biggest struggles in the blog/life balance?

Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburns humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for On Blogging, email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.