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Let’s talk about sex – for six-year-olds

Posted by jentai On September - 18 - 2008

So theBeeb reported todaythat the UK Family Planning Associate is pushing a sex ed booklet – to six-year-olds.

It’s called “Let’s Grow with Nisha and Joe”. Its topics, according to the article, include parts of the body and how to be safe.

I can just see my husband’s reaction when I forward him this link.

“What?! Are they crazy?” he’d respond on IM. I always know he’s serious when he responds an email with an instant message because he doesn’t like to chat at work.

The cliche has always been that Asians are a little more conservative than Westerners when it comes to open displays of affection and sex. It’s a cliche for a reason – it’s the truth.

Until a few years ago, the act of two lovers kissing in an Asian movie (apart from porn – and even those show more of the hard stuff because, you know, kissing is very intimate) was considered risque. I remember about ten years ago, Singapore made its first serial that had a couple kissing for more than 30 seconds. It was the talk of the country for a month – and the most awkward thing I’d ever seen.

The irony is, most of us are okay with Westerners kissing, hugging and what have you. We aren’t prudes. It’s just that such flamboyant displays of affection are just not our thing, but we don’t judge it.On the other hand, if we see a couple of Asian teens making out on the bus, we’d not hesitate to give them two smacks up side the head and tell them to show some respect.

This is very odd because my husband and I are affectionate people, and we are often kissing and hugging in front of his parents, not the heavy stuff, you know, just regular pecks on the lips and lingering hugs before work. We’d always been this way, even in Malaysia. It’s just different when you’re married I guess (being married makes all the difference in Malaysia – you can be getting jiggy at the playground and it’d be okay as long as there’s a ring on your finger).

So back to this whole sex ed for six-year-olds thing. I think it is futile to try and shield our kids from these things when sex is so pervasive in our society. Don’t even go that far.I think my six-year-old already sees that the way Daddy kisses her goodbye in the morning is very different from the way he kisses Mommy. How the heck do you hide that?

I believe that kids are becoming smarter and this makes trying to hide these facts of life all the more dangerous because the more you try and distract them from the truth, the more they’d want to know. Here we are trying to encourage a healthy sense of curiosity about the world around them, but when it comes to sex, we’re just going to pretend it does not exist until they’re, say, seven? That’s just silly.

I’m not saying Family Porn Night. Surely there is a way to talk about sex to a six-year-old without it degrading into some smutty discussion. And what better way than to start the conversation with a picture book?

What do YOU think about a sex ed book for six-year olds? Is it too much too soon? If so, why?

Read more of Jennifer Tais writing at The I’mPerfect Mom or enjoy her photos at www.jennifertai.net. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Tea Leaf Journals, email jenn[at]theimperfectmom[dot]com.

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