“Mom, mom, I really want a cell phone!”
”But you don’t even talk on the regular phone, why do you need a cell phone?”
”I just do . . . everyone has a cell phone.”
”Well, we’re not everyone.”
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve had this conversation with my 11 year-old son, well, you know how rich I would be.
It’s not that I don’t understand his want to have a beloved cell phone, one he can hang from his backpack and download the coolest games onto. A phone he can text his friends with on his way to school, one he can customize with his very own ring tone.
But are these reasons to give a kid a cell phone?
Until now, we have been strictly anti-cell phone for kids in our family. I, myself, really try to only use my cell phone when it is absolutely necessary. Although I occasionally break that rule, my friends can attest to the fact that I hardly even answer the thing. But this isn’t about me.
With the recent additions of middle school and more responsibility for our children, my husband and I have decided that the time has come to get the kids a cell phone.
Gasp!
A cell phone. For our kids? Are we crazy? Now, hear me out. We call this cell phone the “family phone.” And it is just that. it does not belong to either of the boys and it certainly does not belong to our 4 year-old daughter (she does just fine with her sparkly Cinderella phone, the one that she can call her fairy godmother on). We added a third line to our existing 2-phone plan and picked out it’s color together (blue). Don’t ask me what the number is for it, because I have no idea.
The plan for this phone is not for our children to rack up hundreds of dollars in text messaging each month or to chit chat with their friends. They are more than welcome to send their friends an email or use the antiquated land line if they so wish. The plan is not for them to bring the phone to school, I think phones are way to distracting in an educational environment and unnecessary – as there are plenty of phones on school grounds and responsible adults to help in an event warranting a call home. The plan is for this phone to be available to them when they need it. Keyword: need.
When our oldest wants to meet his friends at the park, I feel more comfortable sending him if he has a phone. If the boys want to ride their bikes to the store, they take the family phone. If, for any reason, I would need to leave them at soccer practice or taekwondo, or they want to go somewhere with a friend whose parents don’t have a cell phone, they could take the blue family phone.
I know that a cell phone is not a replacement for a parent, believe me, I know. But our older children are old enough to be able to handle the responsibility, along with the freedom, that the phone provides. When I was their age, I was allowed to explore our neighborhood with my friends, answering only to the call of my mother’s whistle when it was time to come home. I want the same for my kids, and I think in this day and age letting them bring a cell phone along is the only way I will feel comfortable sending them out into the big bad world.
Setting guidelines and knowing your child are important in determining if they are ready for a cell phone. Making sure they follow the rules and appropriately use the phone are also important and we’ve only just begun on our journey.
I’m curious, what have others done when it comes to kids and cell phones? At what ages did you allow your children to have one, or share one, or have you decided to not allow them at all? Do the news reports regarding the safety of cell phones on developing minds have any bearing on your decision?
Tell me, what do you think?
Carrie can be found hanging out at her personal blog Stop Screaming I’m Driving!where she is kept busy wrangling three kids, one goofy Aussie, and her very own firefighter. She can be bribed with lattes and offers to do her laundry. Please send column suggestions to carrieb at seattle mom blogs dot com.