Raise your hands if you, like me, are completely befuddled by allowances?
Way back when my kids started doing regular chores (let’s say, around the ages of 5 and 6 for the boys), I figured it was high time to offer them up some kind of incentive for their help around the house. Even though their “help,” more times than not, involved me re-doing the tasks they were asked to complete when they weren’t looking (wouldn’t want to damage their fragile egos, you know).
I remember thinking about what would be the perfect amount to compensate and finally, my husband and I agreed that $1.00 a week was enough, considering their ages and all.
Here’s the thing about allowances, they only work if you actually remember to give the incentive you have promised. I must’ve missed that in my “Allowances for Kids” seminar. A’hem.
Anyway, a few years passed and the allowance subject came up again, this time during a paticularly difficult period of non-chore doing and downright messiness with the boys. I had made chore charts. I had reminders plastered all over the house. I was driving myself crazy trying to find ways to get them to make their beds and put their dirty clothes in the hamper each morning, let alone brush their own teeth.
Come on. Brushing one’s teeth should be as natural as breathing . . . not a chore. Oh, the joys of boys!
So I was willing to give this whole allowance thing a run, yet again, in the hopes of getting a little more chore action from them. Again, after a few weeks, we all forgot. But I still made them brush their teeth.
Fast forward to last month. My boys are now 9 and 11 years old and I decided that since they’ve been fairly successful in completing at least a few basic tasks every day (like making beds, picking up clothes, feeding the dog and yes!occasionally brushing their teeth and breathing all on their own) it wasagain time to discuss (cough, cough) allowances.
But how much to offer them? True, when I asked them to unload and load the dishwasher the other day they both looked at me and said, “How do we do that?”
I am cowering in shame here people, how is it that they don’t know how to do this? How have I managed in eleven years of parenting to overlook providing them with this most important life skill, that of being able to unload and load a dishwasher properly?
No worries, they’ve got it down pat now. But still, the conundrum remains. How much to you pay out in allowances each week? Or should it be a monthly payment? Payment plan? PayPal? What?
Carrie Blankenship is the mother of three (four, if you count her goofy puppy). She writes her way through motherhood at Stop Screaming I’m Driving! She accepts bribes of lattes (especially Starbucks) and offers of free babysitting. If you’re really lucky, she may even do your laundry. She can be contacted at carrieb-at-seattlemomblogs-dot-com.
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I think you’ve got two things going on here. One is allowances, the other is Basic Skills 101. While I’ve readon some boards that there are parents who do absolutely everything for their kids, who wouldn’t know how to load or unload a dishwasher or do a load of wash att gunpoint, I think we all owe to our kids to teach them the basics of keeping house-both boys AND girls, by the way.
So you don’t need to make it a chore, but do teach your kids how to load, unload, wash, separate clothes, sew a tear or button, cook some simple dishes, etc. The idea is that they will thus be able to live on their own without calling home in a panic.
And my adult kids manage ok-even the young man can sew, do laundry, etc., though he claims cooking is “doing battle with food”. His sister will leave for college in 3 weeks, and as long as no spiders enter her field of vision, she’ll be ok too.
Allowances are for chores, which may or may not be any of the above. Husband is anal about the dishwasher, so he does it, but even the 8 yo knows how to load and unload it. her chores, though, are keeping her room clean, clearing her place at the table, doing her school work without complaining. We started at $1 a week at age 4 also, though now it’s $20 a month. We pay a bonus if she saves it all.
The older kids got a hefty amount in high school until they began working-I think it was about $20 a week-enough to cover buses, lunches if they wanted to buy their own, etc. In return they needed to babysit on occassion, clean up after themselves, help with household tasks as asked, and stick to their school work.
Now if only I could get the two girls to stopp calling me when they see a spider-it’s not MY fault I grew up terrified of them and passed it down to them=is it??
We pay allowance once every two weeks. The kids get $1 for every year of age (they are 3, 6, and 9). We track it in a grid on paper (so I can’t forget due to lack of cash), and they have to split it into thirds (Spend, Save, Give). The kids each have a saving goal (at the moment specific Wii games), and they’ve chosen a charity or two.
Here’s an interesting up-side. The first week or two, the kids realized they could PAY EACH OTHER to do the chores they didn’t like! It was beautiful. No more ‘I don’t want to!’ and a little entrepreneurial spirit. Some weeks are better than others, but it helped
We expect our children to do chores each day that help out the family (laundry, dishes, cleaning, …). The kids get to choose their chores and then the chore list is posted so everyone can remember. They don’t get paid to do their chores because it’s part of being a member of our wonderful family!
They get an allowance for spending money. I now pay them once a month because weekly was too hard to remember. They can earn extra money if they do extra chores.
This is an interesting article to stumble on today. My daughter whos is 6 asked me in teh shower this morning if she could have allowance. We have been giving her a quarter every night that she has a clean room. Needless to say she has only a few quarters. I am still unsure how we will set up an allowance. But like seeing what others do. Also for our family there are things that just need to be done. I don’t want them to start thinking they will get paid for every little thing they do. But I do want them to feel the responsibility of having their own money. O, just one more decision in the world of parenting.