Seattle Mom Blogs

Well, I missed last Friday with many good intentions of posting Monday… Well I went to bed Monday night and when I woke up it was Friday again, so my apologies, but here goes!

First of all, Carrie could use some love. She’s had a rough couple of weeks….

But congratulations go to Jenn who just finished up the first year of the preschool she helped found!

Do y’all remember the drive in? Well apparently they still have a few around…

What can you fit in your purse?

Does a buffalo filled vacation sound good to anyone else right now? I think I wouldn’t mind…

And I think that is it for this week!

Oh, and here’s a thought– if you read/post something of note this week on a blog, send me an email and I’ll try and post it. It’s hard to read all the blogs and I know I am probably missing people’s wonderful stuff! So send me a note at .

Stephanie is a work at home momma trying to make the world more beautiful while also trying to keep her sanity with three energetic children under the age of six.

You can read more about her fabulously crazy life over at The Mommiverse

Living in Washington, more specifically Seattle, we all know about the lack of sunshine in the Great Northwest. I personally think Seattle gets a bad rap about rainfall. Ill be honest; we see a lot of rainfall here. But I think its more about the lack of sunshine then the actual amount of rainfall per year. (Would you agree?)

What Im saying is this: dude, its dark in Seattle.

Except for in the summer months. Summer days in Seattle start bright and early at 5AM and go until 10 PM. There is nothing like sitting on your porch, in the sun, at 10PM at night. Its glorious, magnificent and oh-so-well-deserved.

Its also not so good for putting your kid to bed at night.

This summer is the third summer that Ive been a parent. The summer of 2006 was easy. Babboo, my son, was a few months old and wasnt following any rules about sleeping at night. I was probably still waking up every 3 hours to nurse him. Our little family was still on a new baby high and Im confident that we didnt even notice if it was sunny or rainy outside or what time the sun set.

Summer of 2007, Babboo was only a year old, no longer waking up to nurse at night, and pretty much just doing whatever we told him to do. We were following a pretty strict bedtime routine that started with a bath at 7:15 and being fast asleep by 8:15. It was like clockwork and it was heaven well into the fall, winter, and spring months.

Summer 2008 hasnt even officially started and already I know its not going to go so well. My little two year old has quickly noticed its still light out at 8:15 and wants no part of night night time. While Im begging night night? hes replying with Babboo play toys!

What makes this even harder is that it is also getting light out earlier. So its not even like Babboo can sleep later in the morning. Thankfully, according to his daily reports from daycare, his naps are still almost 3 hours long. The experts suggest toddlers get 12-14 hours of sleep a day. While Babboo isnt getting as many hours at night, combined with his time at daycare, he is meeting the recommended amount.

I finally realized this last night, while deep in the middle of trying to get my kid settled into his crib. Hes fine. Hes getting enough sleep. I need to relax a bit and let him stay up a little later in the summer.

If hes anything like his mom, the added daylight will be good for his soul.

So tell me, do you adjust your childrens sleeping habits according to the seasons? Do you adjust your own sleeping habits?

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Dont forget to enter the AWESOME SeattleMomBlogs Vacation Giveaway for a chance to win a two night stay in one of the lovely Seabrook Cottages. Just click HERE to enter to win! And tell your friends about it. And your neighbors. And your family. Heck, it’s so awesome you might even want to tell your enemies to enter.

Isabel is a pseudonym for this Seattle-based blogger. She’s been working since the day she realized soda and lip gloss weren’t free. Isabel became a mom in 2006 and continues to work full time, outside the home, since diapers and mortgages aren’t free either. You can read far too much about her personal life at hola,isabel.

If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Double duty. One paycheck., email Isabel at holaisabel [at] gmail.com.

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As part three of my Essential Advice for New Bloggers series were talking about establishing a readership.

Last week we talked about networking, and today I’ll cover basic search engine optimization (often referred to as SEO). Stay tuned for next week, when I show you how to convert one-time visitors to repeat readers.

Searchengines are in the position to send you a whole lot of traffic. But it takes a basicunderstanding of how they work and the implementation of a few basicstrategies to take advantage of this gold mine.

How search engines work (the short version)
The truth is, the exact innermost workings of any given search engine is ahighly secret, patented, and protected affair. I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.(Also, I don’t really know).That’s ok, because most of us don’t really care about the details anyhow. We just want to skip ahead to the part where you find out HOW TO GET MORE TRAFFIC. Am I right? So here goes.

Generally, search engines rank website content based on the following criteria: Keywords and Rank. I’ll give you a brief and highly generalized overview of each, along with some related suggestions for how to optimize your blog for higher search ranking. This is a subject worthy of many, many articles, books, and debates so I won’t even pretend to cover it all. Consider this a starting point on your quest for true SEO.

Keywords. The words that you use to name and describe your blog, the words you use in your post titles andcategories, and the words that exist within the body of your posts all influence whether your blog will be returned for any given search.

Say, for example, you have a blog called “Fluffy Bunny Wuvers: A blog for people who wuv fluffy bunnies,” which you host at www.fluffybunnywuvers.com. Odds are good that if someone searches for “fluffy bunny wuvers” your blog will appear earlyin search results. If someone were to search for “I rather enjoy soft rabbits,” on the other hand, your blog might not fare so well.

Choosing the right keywords is an art, a science, maybe evena miracle (or so it sometimes seems).

The good news is, the goal of any good search engine is to put the most relevant links at the top of the search results. So, if you are writing relevant content and using common words to talk about it, the magic of google or yahoo will do the rest.

Tips for better keywording
Here are some basic tips for ensuring that your blog comes up in the right searches whenever possible.

1) Add a tagline to yourblog’stitle
Did you realize that your title and tagline are themost importantdescriptors for your blog? If your blog is titled “Fluffy Bunny Wuvers” it will almost always appear in search resultsBEFORE a blog that just mentions fluffy bunnies in one of its posts. This is a powerful thing.

“What’s a tagline?” you might be wondering, “and how do I get one?” Well, let me tell you. The tagline is the line of descriptive text that follows right after your title. And if you didn’t already guess, it’s really important.

Seattle Mom Blogs’ tagline is “A Community for Blogging Mothers in Greater Seattle and the East Side. My tagline at Absolutely Bananas is “Seattle stay-at-home mom blog.”

This tagline appears in the top line of a reader’s browser window just after the title, and also appearsin the blog name when the website is bookmarked or otherwise referenced.The taglinedoesn’t have to appear ON your blog (unless you want it to)… mainly it’s useful for telling search engines what your website is about.

Below is a screenshot of howthe tagline for Seattle Mom Blogslooks on my computer. I’ve circled the primary keywords in red.

So here’s how it works. If a searcher searches on any of the red-circled keywords (or any combination of them), Seattle Mom Blogs is likely to come up. They could search for “Seattle Mothers,” “Blog Mom Seattle,” “Seattle Mom Community,” or any other combination of these words and Seattle Mom Blogs would appear in the results.

Pretty simple, right? Are you starting to feel the power of the tagline?

Let’s do another fun example by applying this strategy to our Fluffy Bunny Wuvers site. First we’ll brainstorm words that searchers are likely to use when looking for our site. Let’s say we come up with: resource, guide, rabbit, hare, friend, fan, devotee.

So now we just have to put the words together into a cohesive description. Like this:

A resource guide for rabbit and harefriends, fans, and devotees.

Our new title and tagline combination becomes:

Fluffy Bunny Wuvers: A resource guide for rabbit and hare friends, fans, and devotees

Thanks to our crafty genius, if someone searches “rabbit friend,” “fan of rabbits,” “bunny devotee,” “rabbit guide,” or any of the other possible word combinations, the Fluffy Bunny Wuvers website will come up. Success!

2) Optimize your post titles
Now let’s move on to how you can optimize individual posts. Basically, you’ll want to apply similar logic to that we justdiscussed when writing titles for your posts.

When titling a post, think of the bestdescriptive words that you can use to describe your topic. Put yourself inthe position of a reader who is looking for a post exactly like the one that you’ve written. How would you, as the reader, search? What words would you use? Now make sure you’ve put those words into your post title and voila! it’s optimized.

For example,let’s sayyou’ve written a post about the challenges of being a stay-at-home mom. Although it’s rather dull,the title “Challenges of being a stay-at-home mom” will probably perform pretty well in search results. Although it’s tempting, the catchier title, “Splat! There goes my coffee” won’t do so well (except on searches for splat and coffee, which I’m guessing is a readership you’re not looking to capture.)

If you MUST be clever you can always combine the two, to make “Splat! There goes my coffee: Challenges of being a stay-at-home mom.”

3) Put the keywords (and their synonyms)in the body of the post.
Hopefully by now you can see where I’m going. You want to make sure that the commonly used keywords, which are likely to be searched on, are appearing in your post. It’s also a good idea to include synonyms in case someone searches on a variation.

Ranking
Search engines have a scientific, magical, super-duper-secret formula for figuring out which websites are most important. Google callsthis PageRank, and assigns each sitea PageRanknumber between 0 and 10 (10 being the gold standard to which everyone aspires).

No one knows exactly how Google figures out this ranking (especially since, every time we think we have it figured out, they CHANGE IT). But we do know that having other sites link to yours is really, really important.

From Google’s ;

Google counts the number of votes a page receives as part of its PageRank assessment, interpreting a link from page A to page B as a vote by page A for page B. Votes cast by pages that are themselves “important” weigh more heavily and help to make other pages “important.”

Let me translate that into non-nerd speak.

Googlebases PageRank on popularity. If you have a lot of other sites that link to you, you must bepopular, and therefore you get a higherPageRank. Ifthe sites that link to your are popular themselves (i.e. have a high PageRank),your PageRank will go up even more.

You can see your current PageRank by going to: PRChecker.info

How to boost your PageRank
This is one place where patience and consistently good blogging is really your best bet. There are a couple of tactics you can take to try and help it along, however.

1) Submit your blog to directories and listing sites. Some examples of these types of sites include:

• MyBlogLog.com (great for building and finding community)
• BlogCatalog.com
• Blogged.com (ratings by editors)
• BlogFlux.com
• Alltop.com
• Allmediocre.com(newsite for people who don’t get into Alltop.com)

2)Participate in carnivals, awards, and memes. (see my post on networking for more tips on how to best use these forums)

3) Post good content that other bloggers will want to link to.

4)Link generously. I really do believe in the karma of blogging. Be generous and your generosity will be returned to you.

There’s no goodway to trick the system, and asking other (important) websites to link to you will often get you ignored. Don’t be tempted to get involved in some PageRank promoting scheme, since Google has a list of these behaviors that they really, really don’t like.

Now go forth and be optimized!

Further reading:

• 9 Tips to Improve Search Engine Optimization

Jenny Blackburn. All Rights Reserved.

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Catch more of Jenny Blackburns humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for On Blogging, email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

Congratulations to Jennie who won this giveaway!

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One of our lucky readers will win a free two night stay in a comfy Seabrook cottage (up to $350.00 value). The winner will stay at the Eleanor cottage in the magical Seabrook setting, with easy beach access, nearby parks, playgrounds, shuffleboard, horseshoes, fire pits and Seabrooks new cafe.

Dont have a bike? Dont worry. Theyll be waiting for you at the cottage!

For your chance to win, visit SeabrookCottageRentals.com. Take a peek at all of the unique cottages and pick your favorite for a family vacation. Post a comment here with your dream cottage and why you love it. You can also post this contest on your own blog, directing your readers back tothis postand we’ll enter your name twice. The contest will end on at midnight (PST) on June 3rd6th.

We know that all moms need a vacation, and even though theres only one winner, Seabrook is offering a special from now through June 19^th for Seattle Mom Blogs readers! Book a stay at Seabrook for travel before June 19^th and get two nights for the price of one (excludes weekends, holidays and not applicable to previously made reservations). Call to reserve your cottage!

If youre interested in more than just a weekend escape, Seabrook has great homes for sale! View them and learn more at look at SeabrookWA.com.

One of the great things about the blogging world is that people with similar interests and situations can gather around and make virtual friends with whom they can share some common ground. Its amazing to me, that someone across the continent whom I have never met can feel for me when I am down and congratulate me when I am up. Just by a little comment on my blog.

Its a wonderful thing.

There is a down side to this wonderful thing, however. Not actually knowing someone, makes it pretty easy to say to them things you might NEVER say to their face. I think most of us are pretty non-confrontational in real life, but if people are anything like me, they can get all hot under the collar privately and then make nice when it comes to actual, personal interaction. Email and blogging make it possible to break down our inhibitions to say whatever comes to our mind, without thought of how it might affect someone else. We can freely share our agitated/frustrated opinions in as open a way as possible without ever feeling the slightest remorse.

So here is what I really want to talk abouthow can we all be friends in this virtual world, when though we share the common ground of motherhood, we have entirely different lives, values and opinions?

For example, how can I, Stephanie, a married, conservative 27 year old mother of three, be friends with a 45 year old single mother of 1 who is very liberal?

It’s very easy to be friends in the blogosphere when we are all saying things we agree with, so I think no suggestions are needed on that! But here are some of my suggestions on how we can all be friends in spite of differing opinions:

1. Be Aware. Sometimes a mommy blogger is going to -gasp- say something you don’t agree with. It may even be offensive to you. We are all different and we have various political/religious/personal views so this is to be expected. It’s not a bad thing, it just is what it is. Not everything that you post is going to go over smoothly with everyone else, and you will certainly come across posts you don’t agree with. Being aware of this may sound kind of simple and obvious, but it is certainly the first step in knowing how you are going to deal with controversy in the blog world.

2. Don’t take it personally. It can be hard when someone says something so in disagreement with your beliefs that it cuts you to the core. You will feel a lot better if you don’t take it as a personal affront. For example, if I say, “I don’t believe in drinking Coca Cola after 7 pm” or even if I add to that “I don’t think anyone else should either” you should not interpret that as saying I don’t like you if you are a 9:00 pm Coca-Cola drinker. I am entitled to my belief as you are to yours, and it doesn’t mean I think any less of you if you drink your Coke at 7:15. Being offended is counterproductive– especially when none was intended.

3. Play nice. Discussion is good, but listen to Thumper. And as long as we are not taking it personally, we shouldn’t make personal attacks either. I am not saying you cant say, I dont agree with you, or, I dont think that is correct. It just means you cant say, Youre an idiot, or I am laughing at you for your tiny, uneducated opinion. Its just like with your kids, you tell them you didnt like the behavior rather than saying you dont like them for doing it. And if you are going to say something that might not be super nice, try and pad the blow with a compliment on something else that they said. And of course here on SMB, you are going to have to follow the official comments policy.

4. Pause and review before you submit. Recognize that if you are going to say something that you think might be innocent, realize that the internet leaves a lot of interpretation for tone. In other words, you could be misunderstood and should be prepared for that. If you are unsure, give it a minute before you click that button. Or get a second opinion. (I can’t tell you how many times the hubs has told me my comment was offensive AFTER the fact…)

5. Focus on the strengths of our common ground. We are women and mothers here trying to raise our children right and give them the best experiences possible. We should lift and love each other up by realizing we have much more in common than we think.

6. Assume the friendship. Just assume that if you met someone from a blog in real life, that you would like them and be nice to them. Dont say anything in a comments section (or even in your blog post!) that you wouldnt say to the actual person if you were face to face with them. SMB hosts a lot of events, and it is likely that we could meet. I dont want there to be awkwardness. We may not end up being friends, nor am I saying I think we have to be. We might like two ships, meet once and never again, or we could be kindred spirits. (Some of my best friends are people I didn’t initally like.) So as a courtesy just assume were good friends (pretend even) and behave as such.
So there they are just a few suggestions. But I want to know what YOU think. (This post of course, is my opinion only, does not necessarily reflect the beliefs of SMB). What are your suggestions for being friends? Is it even possible to make nice with people who can all be so different? Tell me your thoughts.

Stephanie is a work at home momma trying to make the world more beautiful while also trying to keep her sanity with three energetic children under the age of six.

You can read more about her fabulously crazy life over at The Mommiverse

When it comes to blogs, I tend to get pretty focused on the mommy blogs, to the exclusion of everything else. Then something will happen and I realize THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN BEING A MOM and I tell myself that I must diversify.

So today I wasgoogling around to find other local blogs, and happened upon one that I LOVE, Pike/Pine: Street fashion in Seattle. Jasmine, the author, posts pictures of locals wearing sassy clothes around town. It’s sort of like reading a fashion mag only… more local. I’m seriously feeling inspired to get funky with my wardrobe.

My other favorite local blog is Save Seattle Public Schools, which is a great resource for information on what’s going on with our lovely public school system.

What are your favorite local blogs?

By the way, we have a really awesome giveaway that’s posting on Monday the 26th. Stay tuned!

When I found myself pregnant with our second child (our first are 18 months apart), I knew I felt different.

Having only been pregnant once before, I just thought all that pressure was normal. I thought that was the price you had to pay for having babies so close in age. I thought my poor old (25-year-old) uterus was, simply, tired.

When I caught a glimpse of my profile in a store window, I laughed out loud. It literally looked like I had a basketball stuffed up my shirt. The effect was even more exaggerated when I was holding my son, which was often. He would sling one leg up over my large belly. The sight was, I believe, comical.

When I wasn’t smiling at people who cast me sideways glances (what wasshe thinking, getting pregnant when she still has a baby?), I was trying to deal with the general uncomfortableness in my pelvic area. I relayed my concerns to my OB/GYN, who assured me that I was measuring only slightly above my gestational timeline. Since my first baby was small (6 pounds, 5 ounces), he had no reason to believe that I’d deliver the gigantic child that I thought I would.

Boy was he wrong!

9 pounds and 8 ounces wrong.

No, I am not kidding.

The clothes we had brought to the hospital to bring our new baby home in barely fit on his big toe. He skipped the newborn sizes altogether and went straight to the 3-6 month sizes. Yet, he was as newborn as they come. He barely opened his eyes during those first few weeks, he ate and he messed his diapers. He smelled like a newborn, he acted like a newborn, he was a newborn. But everywhere I went, people (you know, those people who like to fling their opinions left and right to total strangers?) would tell me how cute my little 6-month old was.

Eventually, I would just smile at them, knowing that I didn’t want to get into a long, drawn-out conversation about the sizes of my children and what I ate while pregnant to yield such results.

I knew then, that this would be something we would be battling throughout his childhood.

By the time Wyatt was a year old, he was wearing the same size clothing as his brother, who was two and a half. I’d load the boys up in my doublestroller and people would ask me if they were twins. Again, this smiling technique (and a fast gait) worked to my advantage as I’d reply, “No, they aren’t they’re 18-months apart,” and I’d keep on moving.

When Wyatt was a toddler, barely fitting into his size 5 diapers, people would say, “Isn’t he potty trained yet?”

“Um, no, he isn’t even 2!” And I’d move right along.

Wyatt was, in fact, potty trained at 2 and a half -quite an accomplishment, I think, for a boy.

Preschool was even worse for him. Several times, he’d be asked to perform well above his age level. While all of my kids are exceptionally smart (I’m a mom, don’t judge), I am a big supporter of letting them act their ages, even if they can spell their names and count to one hundred before the age of five.

Everywhere we went, people thought he was older than he was. He was, and still is, the tallest boy in the back row of the school picture. I can pick him out of a crowd because Ilook for the tall one. His peers look up to him, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I fear that the high expectations put upon him due to his height do not allow him the same breaks as other kids. His extreme sense of right and wrong also play into this, but that is another discussion for another time.

Even though he broke by back, I held him constantly as a baby and toddler. He still climbs onto my lap and cuddles despite the fact that he weighs more than half of what I do. When he gets upset, I give him hugs, just like anyone would do for any 3rd-grader.

Sure, he hangs with the older kids – friends of his brother, and he hangs well – but he should be allowed to be 9. He needs to be 9. It is okay to be 9, or 10, or 11 – whatever age he is. I just want him to know that it is okay. I want him to know that being in the 95th percentile is fine. And if people expect you to act a certain way, that’s their problem, not yours.

Like all my children, I just want him to be himself.

And if he needs a hug, by all means, have one. It’s okay, you’re only 9.

Carrie Blankenship isthe mother of three (four, if you count hergoofy puppy). She writes her way through motherhood at Stop Screaming I’m Driving! She accepts bribes of lattes (especially Starbucks) and offers of free babysitting. If you’re really lucky, she may even do your laundry. Shecan be contacted at carrieb-at-seattlemomblogs-dot-com.

On Saturday we went to an event called “Kids’ Fest” hosted by Northwest Adoption Exchange (NWAE). It was an interesting experience.

So what is Kids’ Fest exactly? It’s an opportunity for prospective adoptive parents to meet children in the foster system. It’s a party with a carnival-type atmosphere where the kids are running around, engaging in different activities and having fun. The adults are joining in the play and hanging out with the kids. There is no talk about foster care or adoption it’s all about fun and playful interaction. The point is just to meet and mingle with several kids who are waiting for adoption.

Bill and I interacted with several kids. We started by shooting hoops with a 9 & 10-year old brother and sister, then moved on to eating pizza with a 10-year old girl, frosting cookies with a 12-year old boy, and playing bongo drums with a 7-year old girl and her 10-year old sister. There were other kids we met along the way too.

It’s a neat idea, but I have to admit it was weird at the same time. It was definitely cool to put some warm bodies to the faces we’d seen in the photo listings and to hang out with different kids. At the same time it felt very awkward at least for the adults.

Here’s the thing: we’re surrounded by all these kids, all currently in foster care, all hoping for a home. The younger kiddos are just having fun but you know the older ones understand the purpose of the party. What do they think about that? How does that make them feel? The sad part is you know that Kids’ Fest isn’t going to result in a new family for every kid that was there.

Some of the kids we met were very open and engaging, but some of the kids were quite closed. You’d try to talk to them and interact but they had no interest in talking to you. I had to wonder, are they so jaded that they feel like there’s no point? Have they already decided they’re not going to “get picked”? Have they been so let down by the adults in their lives that they just can’t trust anymore? It’s heartbreaking to think about.

Sadly, foster kids have a bad rap. People tend to think they are riddled with problems, that they’re “damaged goods”. But when you think about it, aren’t we all to some degree? These kids had a rough start, and yes, it’s affected them. But as we hung out with these kids it was amazing to see their resilience. Even those that were a bit closed were still enjoying themselves and participating in the activities. Despite what they’ve been through they still knew how to have fun.

While we don’t think any of the kids we met will end up being a match for us, Kids’ Fest was worth going to. If nothing else Kid’s Fest confirmed what we already knew in our hearts and minds: all of these children are still just “regular” kids. I just wish the rest of the world knew that.

This entry also posted with the . Copyright 2008 Susan Metters. All rights reserved.
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In addition to being a writer and aspiring mom, Susan Metters also carries the distinguished title of Cancer Survivor Extraordinaire. Some of her secret ambitions include meeting Dr. Phil, hosting Saturday Night Live, and rising to the top as a rock star. You can read more about Susans life adventures by visiting her blog with the Seattle P.I., . If you have ideas, questions, rants, or ramblings feel free to email Susan at susan [at] seattlemomblogs [dot] com.

Walking into a night club in the middle of the day is a really odd feeling. Especially when it’s gorgeously sunny outside, and scorchingly hot. Walking into a nightclub on a sunny day in Seattle with children in tow is even stranger. And yet, that is exactly what we did this past Saturday when we attended Baby Loves Disco. We stood in line, said goodbye to the sunshine and descended into a night club with no air conditioning, blasting music, and free juice boxes.

I think I was not the only parent there, feeling a little weird about this. I walked in to see many other adults with a deer in the headlights look, standing around not sure what to do next. I knew this had the potential to be really fun, I just wished someone had given me some kind of direction. I was handed tickets “for the baby legs” and handed stickers, “for the cupcakes” and turned loose without knowing where anything was or what I was supposed to do next. It took me a good half an hour to realize they were serving free snacks– the website wasn’t even clear about this and no one told me where they were. So for the first twenty minutes, I like everyone else, just wandered around in a daze.

And then it got more fun.

My kids were immediately drawn to the chill out room. Toys, tents and tunnels. They really couldn’t have cared if there was ANYTHING else, though they did spot the cupcakes immediately. So we hung out. Not the most fun for Charming and I , but the kids enjoyed themselves. I was impressed with how well done the chill out room was. I think the whole event could have just been one giant chill out room and been a success. But I wanted to DANCE. Isn’t that what we’d come for? So we bid farewell to the toys and sought out the boogie.

The dance floor had some great features. Bubbles would intermittently disperse throughtout the entire room, and my sweet Spider was pulled from her groggy, post-car ride limpness to just glance in awe at this. There were also well thought of bins full of scarves and shakers to help get our baby’s grooves on. Once the d.j. turned the music down a little, it was even better. (I know, I am obnoxious, but I had to ask– these little one have such sensitive ear drums.) Though it took a little warming up, we eventually tore up the dance floor, though not many other people did. It kind of reminded me of high school actually– everyone seemed a little self concious. But Sugar and I had a good time as we danced like no one was watching.

Now, admittedly, this was my first time in a night club (day or night) and so I felt a little out of my element. Though I like to dance, I am not a drinker of alcohol on any level and having married before I turned 21, there has never been a reason for me to frequent a night club. Personally, I felt that for the event to be truly kid friendly, there should have been no alcohol served. Yet, the bar was open, complete with a fully pierced, wife beater wearing bartender. There was a roped off area that the alcohol was not to leave, but I was uncomfortable. Again, bars aren’t my thing, so maybe it was just me.

But the giveaways wAnytime FREE is involved I am so there. I loved the free baby legs, the cupcakes and the other little perks like the donuts and the juiceboxes. We even got an extra pair of baby legs because Sugar walked in the baby legs fashion show. So props on that! Yay giveaways.

Overall, though we had a good time, I felt that some improvements could have been made. The time for example, was killer. Is there a baby on this planet that doesn’t typically take a nap from 1-4? I realize they were probably working with the club’s schedule, but I really think an earlier time would have helped it be better attended. Not only that, but I think the kids would have been more into the dancing. At least mine would have anyway. I got in for free thanks to Baby Loves Disco generously giving some tickets away to Seattle Mom Blogs, and I am glad I got to go, because I am not sure I would have paid the $12 a person to go. For my family that would have been $60 on top of the 45 minute drive one way, and though we got free stuff, we could have bought more baby legs with the same amount of money and enjoyed the sunny day too.

Bottom line? Great concept. And if you live in the city and you like/liked clubbing, this is a great venue for you. For me, I was just a little out of my element. I felt much more comfortable when we were home and we got to do this:

Stephanie is a work at home momma trying to make the world more beautiful while also trying to keep her sanity with three energetic children under the age of six.

You can read more about her fabulously crazy life over at The Mommiverse.

I wear a pendant that says First, keep the peace within yourself. Then you can also bring peace to others. Some guy in the 1300s said it but many people have said before and since.

• Peace begins within.
• Put your oxygen mask on first, then assist those around you.
• Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy.

They all boil down to one thing. Take care of yourself first. I remember my mom saying this very thing to me in the first weeks of my babys life and I thought she was off her rocker. I was holding a tiny baby! Who needed me! All the time!

Its been five years now and her words are starting to sink in. How have I managed to keep myself happy when Im busy keeping those other little folks happy?

Well, Im still trying, but the first thing I did was stop thinking that there was some finite amount of happy, and that it was either me or them who was having it. This involves partnership thinking, and it involves therapy.

The second thing I did was decide that it is not selfish to focus on self-care first. If peace is my priority and bringing peace to others requires peace within, then hello? Its all about me, baby.

The third thing is taking time for myself. In addition to sanity-saving time away from my kids to write and meditate, Im talking about time on the micro level.

Taking care of everyone else first or bearing down and plowing through unpleasant situations are hard habits for me to break. But Ive started taking many mini breaks throughout the day especially when I am feeling upset, resentful or frustrated. I close my eyes and take a few breaths while relaxing my stomach.

Or I ring our mindfulness bell. When my toddler isnt carrying it around the house and banging it on things, it sits on a cabinet at the bottom of our stairs. Anyone can ring it when they are feeling the need for a bit of peace or space. This physical action signifies self-care and helps us cool the heat (and keeps us from saying angry words or taking angry actions).

Here are examples of our mindfulness bell in action

My almost five year old son and I are playing a turn-taking game and I accidentally take two turns. (Spacey much?) He is so frustrated I can tell he is about to pick up the game and throw it. Instead, he jumps up and rings the bell, stays there for a few minutes, and comes back to tell me, I feel centered now. We begin playing again.

* * *

I am sitting at the bottom of the stairs. I have spent the morning in futility. The kids are barely dressed, toys are everywhere, the kitchen is a hazardous waste zone, I am tired and hungry. I ring the bell and breathe deeply a few times. I open my eyes to see both kids standing at the doorway regarding me with curiosity. I open my arms and they climb into my lap.

After five years of being a mama, my mothers words are resonating throughout my life. Each time I hear the mindfulness bell, I think of the circle of mothering my mom, my self, my children and of how we can all take care of each other, and ourselves, one moment at a time.

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Read more of Stacy’s writing at Mama-Om. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Crazy Much? email stacy[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com. I’d love to hear from you!

The photo is by me, Stacy Lewis.