Seattle Mom Blogs

It’s a cold hard realization that I spend more time with my co-workers then I do with my husband and son. A realization that I hate admitting. For most of us, this is just the truth of our lives.

While this alone is bad, what’s worse is the fact that I find myself putting up with more crap and being far more agreeable to my co-workers then I am with my husband and son. I would never let my husband criticize me without a fight, but I let my co-workers criticize me on a daily basis. With no fight. (Or only a small fight.) I sit back at work, shut up, and just take it. Then I go home and explode because I’ve shut up and taken it all day at work.

This can’t go on. I can’t be this mean person anymore.

There is a proverb in the Old Testament that says:

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh the city.

I want to be slow(er) to anger. I want to rule my own spirit. No more allowing my co-workers to set my mood for my life. I just can’t take it anymore. I want to be a better person; in the workplace and at home.

I decided that I’m going to do it. I’m going to choose to be slow to anger. I can do it. But I need everyone’s help. I need reminders. I need to be thinking of it all the time. Because, let’s be honest, if I’m not thinking about it I’ll forget and then…snap…I’ll be angry again.

I talked about this, at greater length, yesterday over at my blog. It seems that I hit a cord with a lot of people. Turns out I’m not the only one that suffers from The Anger. That isn’t a good thing. But taking a stand to be slower to anger together is a good thing. One that I can support.

So, join with us. Commit to taking the time to slow down your anger. Take it from someone who knows much more then I do:

I plead with you to control your tempers, to put a smile upon your faces, which will erase anger; speak out with words of love and peace, appreciation, and respect. If you will do this, your lives will be without regret. Your marriages and family relationships will be preserved. You will be much happier. You will do greater good. You will feel a sense of peace that will be wonderful. May the Lord bless you and inspire you to walk without anger, without bitterness of any kind, but to reach out to others with expressions of friendship, appreciation, and love.

Isabel is a pseudonym for this Seattle-based blogger. She’s been working since the day she realized soda and lip gloss weren’t free. Isabel became a mom in 2006 and continues to work full time, outside the home, since diapers and mortgages aren’t free either. You can read far too much about her personal life at hola,isabel.

If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Double duty. One paycheck., email Isabel at holaisabel [at] gmail.com.

Are you all enjoying the snow day? We’re having a blast. Today I fulfilled one of my lifelong dreams and built a snowman taller than me.

Like many of you I’m barraged with email from marketers looking for me to mention their product or service on Seattle Mom Blogs or my personal site. I delete most of these “offers” but I thought I’d pass this one along to you ladies.

I know that many of you work outside the home already but I also know that many of you would like to find a way to earn extra money from home. You may want to give Beyond Motherhood a try. The registration is free and it sounds like an awesome concept if they execute it properly. I’d love to hear what you think of it.

From the site -

“Beyondmotherhood.com is a launch pad for women who want more than the title “mom”. The site is a niche job board
specializing in helping mothers leverage their education and experience, while providing them with flexible opportunities. It connects employers with the “untapped” workforce, stay at home mothers.”

Well, Charming and I took our two oldest to the Children’s Film Festival Seattle on Saturday. We chose a program called “From the Heart of Sweden: Animation with a global reach.” This is our report.

Due to some incredible planning, we managed to arrive about an hour early and much to our disappointment, people that arrive early don’t have many options. According to the less-than-helpful teenagers working the popcorn stand, we a.) could go to a “theoretical” cafe down the street ( I think there’s one down that way) or b.) were welcome to sit on the second hand couch in the divey theater lobby. It was really cold outside, and I wanted to stay put, but it was going to be a pretty lame way to spend an hour, so we ventured out again in search of a KFC I had spotted earlier.

Well once our tummies were full of parfait, chicken and biscuits (in that order) we returned to the theater. It’s a good thing we ate before coming because even though popcorn was available, it was cooked with peanut oil (who does that?) and had to opt out because of Sugar’s allergy.

Lame.

And then it was showtime. Swedish films with English subtitles. I immensely enjoyed the parts of the movies where there was no dialogue, because that was the only time that the theater wasn’t abuzz with parents reading the subtitles aloud. It wasn’t the reading that bugged me, because it was expected, but it was the lack of synchronization, and sometimes the mispronunciations. And yes, I know I am being picky.

One thing that made me chuckle though, was the two or three times that curse words appeared in the subtitles. There were two occasions of “crap” and one “damn.” One line read something like, “I wish she didn’t do that. Crap.” But what was heard by all was “I wish she didn’t do that. (Silence).” Not a single person uttered the word crap. It made me smile.

The films? Overall, good. I really loved the first short we saw called “Aston’s Stones” where a little boy character (who happens to be canine) begins collecting stones and making little beds for them until his parents cannot even step in his room without stepping on one of his “babies.” In the end the parents, deceptively and lovingly convince him to take his stones on a holiday at the beach, and eventually leave them there. It was just really cute and the animation was kind of unique.

The only short that I did not particularly care for was, “Poison Arrow Frogs,” about a little boy who goes to the museum with his dad. The film redeemed itself in the end with a positive message about what we take into ourselves, like nice words, or bad feelings is what we put out to the world. But the terrible animation and weak storytelling almost didn’t make it worth it. It was like the people who put on the festival were like, “We need another cartoon from Sweden, go check out YouTube,” and they found some crummy flash animation and called it good enough. Could have done without it, because even the “morale”didn’t come across super clearly.

Overall, we enjoyed ourselves at the film festival, if for no other reason than we got to spend some casual time out of the house with our oldest two children. I loved the “independent and global” film-ish-ness of about the experience, and it really took me back. I just felt that some of the experience was lost in the little details.

But please, check it out for yourself. Films will be shown until the end of this week. For showtimes and information visit:

www.childrensfilmfestivalseattle.org

Stephanie is a work at home momma trying to make the world more beautiful while also trying to keep her sanity with three energetic children under the age of six.

You can read more about her fabulously crazy life over at The Mommiverse.

I always assumed Id be a mom. Dont most of us? We play with our baby dolls as kids, we dream of meeting Mr. Right as teens. A family is part of the happily ever after, right? Its just what you do. Everyone does it. Its the natural order of things.

Or so I thought.

Life doesnt always go in a nice, straight line. Rarely do we get to go from A to B to C. Sometimes life goes in its own order on its own timeline. And sometimes certain experiences change your priorities.

Before my husband and I got married our pastor had us fill out a marriage questionnaire. We had to fill them out separately and then compare our answers. I remember one question asked, Do you want children? Oh yes, of course. If so, how many children would you like? 3 5! Id love a big family. How long do you want to wait before you have children? 3 5 years sounds perfect. My husband was thinking more along the lines of 2 3 kids but we were pretty much on the same page with our timeline. Oh the idealistic dreams of premarital bliss!

Then we got married. And I became a teacher. And the kids were mean. And out of control. And I couldnt seem to rein them in. And I began to doubt my ability to manage unruly behavior. And I wondered how in the world I could ever parent. And both my husband and I became afraid, very afraid. And our fantasies of parenthood were shot down in flames. And we werent so sure we wanted a family after all.

And we stayed on the fence about parenthood for over 11 years.

Now I was 28 when we got married. We both knew full well that we couldnt procrastinate as long as we felt like it without risking age-induced infertility. So about 6 years into our marriage we had The Kid Talk. We decided we didnt want to enter into parenthood until we were absolutely sure its what we wanted to do. We didnt want to force ourselves into a premature decision because we were worried about my biological clock. We wanted to have children if and when we wanted to, and not a moment sooner.

Which led us to the question: what do we do if somewhere down the road we want to have kids and were having fertility problems? For us, that was an easy question to answer. We didnt want to pursue any fertility treatments, at all, period. The quest for fertility can be a difficult, emotional and sometimes heartbreaking road. We decided we didnt want to put ourselves through that we would adopt.

Okay cool, we had a plan.

So life rolled along and The Kid Question was always there, but always in the background, never in the forefront. Somehow I knew deep inside that I wouldnt want to live my whole life without ever having children, but our fears of parenthood persisted and the procrastination continued.

And then I got cancer.

Yep. Breast cancer at age 39. Now that was a shocker, let me tell you! Remember how I said life doesnt go in a nice, straight line? Well sometimes it takes a swift, unexpected, hairpin turn and its all you can do to just hang on for the ride.

My cancer experience is a story all its own, so I will spare you the details for now. Let me just say that cancer is more than just a wake up call. Its a warning siren so loud itll knock your socks off. Facing death has the interesting effect of making you face your life, and what I found was that I was letting fear hold me back in many areas of my life. It was time to let go of fear and live my life.

Its been a little over a year and a half since I was diagnosed and a year since I finished treatment. Cancers butt has been kicked and I have an excellent prognosis. We celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary in November. I am 41 and my husband is 39. And weve decided to become parents.

Welcome to Adoption Adventures. Join me while I navigate the adoption process and hopefully soon become the mom I was meant to be.

This entry also posted with the . Copyright 2008 Susan Metters. All rights reserved.
_______________________________________________________
In addition to being a writer and aspiring mom, Susan Metters also carries the distinguished title of Cancer Survivor Extraordinaire. Some of her secret ambitions include meeting Dr. Phil, hosting Saturday Night Live, and rising to the top as a rock star. You can read more about Susans life adventures by visiting her blog with the Seattle P.I., . If you have ideas, questions, rants, or ramblings feel free to email Susan at susan [at] seattlemomblogs [dot] com.

Once upon a time, I was the kind of person who enjoyed independent films. I can not boast as much as some, but I did attend a student film festival here and there. In fact, my amazing husband has even been known to make submissions into such events… (Check out “the Dud” ) But alas, those days are kind of long and gone…

Now that I have children, I am lucky to even rent a video.

BUT! This weekend starts the beginning of the Children’s Film Festival Seattle. I am really excited and hoping that it turns out awesome. They have got animations and short films from around the globe for children. The films have themes related to growing up, making friends, being creative and having fun.

Tickets are $6 for children and adults and babes in arms are free.

The website has more information (and a trailer!) that will tell you more than I ever could, but I will be back to tell you how it all went. Though you should probably just go yourself.

Check it out: http://childrensfilmfestivalseattle.org

Stephanie is a work at home momma trying to make the world more beautiful while also trying to keep her sanity with three energetic children under the age of six.

You can read more about her fabulously crazy life over at The Mommiverse.

While yes it’s true, I’m a full time working mom, it’s also true that my husband works full time. (It must also be noted that he has a part time job that involves him building us a new house, from scratch, with his bare hands.) Neither one of us has a job that is more important then the other. Neither of us makes more money then the other.

We’re pretty even in the career-front aspect of our marriage.

So while we’re even in our making-money-prospects, I’m still the one that has to leave work when I get The Phone Call.

You know the call I’m talking about. The one that starts with “Hi Isabel. This is Mary from the daycare. Your son is running a fever.” As soon as I hang up, I have 30 minutes to pack up my laptop, some work that I can do from home, and run to the daycare to pick up my Sweet Babboo. And since he has a fever, he isn’t allowed to go back to daycare for the next 24 hours. That means I’ll be missing two days of work.

One night last week was spent with my husband on the floor, holding a bowl over my son’s mouth, trying desperately to catch his vomit. Thankfully, my husband took one for the team and worked from home the next day so I could go to work. It was awesome for me.

Okay, so he stayed home with the sick kid. This one time. This only time.

Tuesday morning, after dropping a healthy and happy kid off at daycare, I got The Call. I raced begrudgingly headed to the daycare and picked up my crying toddler. Yep, it was me that went. No option of my husband leaving work that day. Or the next day.

Why, oh why, is it me? Why does the daycare seem to have my number on speed-dial?

And dude, why do I have such a huge chip on my shoulder about this?

Isabel is a pseudonym for this Seattle-based blogger. She’s been working since the day she realized soda and lip gloss weren’t free. Isabel became a mom in 2006 and continues to work full time, outside the home, since diapers and mortgages aren’t free either. You can read far too much about her personal life at hola,isabel.

If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Double duty. One paycheck., email Isabel at holaisabel [at] gmail.com.

I’ve heard of it happening. Rumors, suggestions, a passing mention here or there.

I’ve even had it happen on a small-scale to me.

But this! THIS was personal.

I was checking my email one last time before going to bed when I read this:

Subject: You’re getting ripped off, did you know?

Did you know about this blog (link removed to avoid sending traffic)ripping off all your stuff?
Is it your secret side project?
Is its some sneaky way to make money? If so let me in on it.
If it’s not I figured you should know someone out there is stealing your gold and making it garbage.

I’m in Wii coma, let me know if I was wrong.
kiss kiss
Casey

So I clicked on the link.

And couldn’t believe my eyes.

My latest posts, ONE AFTER THE OTHER after the other, were displayed on another blog as if they belonged there. There was no link to me. There was no MENTION of me. Just my writing. Oh, and a whole boat-load of ads.

SOMEONE, some dirty rotten low-life scum, was making money off of MY WRITING.

(this made me slightly angry)

Quickly I did some research. This is what I learned.

1) People can’t steal your content without your consent. Copyright is implicit, and doesn’t require you to register or display a copyright symbol. What’s yours is yours, period.

2) Usually when people steal your content, they’ll take it down if you email them. If that doesn’t work you can email the hosting company and they will often help you.

So I looked up the domain name of the offending site at http://whois.domaintools.com/. Sure enough, there was the name, address, and phone number of the dirty rotten plagiarist. Oddly enough she had the same first name as me.

Eww.

I sent the BAD JENNY this email,

Subject: Copyright infringement notice

Attention Jenny Marks,

This email is to let you know that your site, www.momstay.com is in copyright infringement for displaying my original content from my site www.absolutelybananas.com without my permission or approval.

Please remove all content that has been copied from my site within 24 hours or I will contact your hosting company to request that your site be shut down.

Jenny Blackburn
www.absolutelybananas.com

And the next day I get THIS back,

Dear Jenny Blackhorn,

I am sorry but I don’t think you understand the definition of “copyright.” For one, when you post information from other people’s sites on your own blog, that is not copyright infringement (if so, then your own information on your website, such as information taken from seattlemomblogs.com, would be copyright infringement). In order for something to be copyright infringement, it must violate a copyright, and posting a blog does not make your content copyrighted. If you don’t wish for other people to use the content from your site, I strongly encourage you to disable your RSS feed, which is how this information was fed off of your site and onto mine. You maintain an RSS feed, and thus my site was able to feed your site’s information to my own via the RSS. As long as you maintain an RSS feed through your site, other sites have the ability to use content from your site directly on their own via that RSS feed.

For information on how to LEGALLY copyright your information and protect your information, please visit this article:

http://www.todays-woman.net/article1347.html

Unless there is copyright warnings on your posts and on your RSS feed, you have no legal standing in this matter as content on your site is not automatically “copyrighted.”

Your content was removed from my site, however, but you would not be able to contact “my hosting company” as I am my own hosting company lol. That is quite a silly threat to make to someone. Just FYI. Please be more informed on how to protect your content from auto scraping programs such as the one that used your RSS feed to post content from your site on mine. As long as you maintain a full text RSS feed without any copyright notice on it, this is going to happen to you from other websites.

Thanks,

Jenny

Oh if only you could have seen the smoke pouring from my ears.

she doesn’t think I understand the definition of copyright…

LET ME AT HER!!!

Of course I had to set her straight.

Jenny,

Sorry but I don’t think you understand the definition of “copyright.” All original work is automatically protected under US copyright law and it is absolutely illegal for you to take it and publish it as your own whether on a blog or elsewhere. (see http://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html#mywork if you’re confused; “Your work is under copyright protection the moment it is created and fixed in a tangible form that it is perceptible either directly or with the aid of a machine or device.”). It does not need to be registered or explicitly say “copyright” in order to be copyrighted. Call an attorney if you don’t believe me.

As the author, I own the copyright to all my work and can publish it wherever I like, whether on Seattle Mom Blogs or elsewhere. The difference is that I, as the author, am entitled to do this. It is also legal for other bloggers to post my content with my permission. See, as the author, I get to decide where my work shows up. As not the author, you don’t get to use my work without my permission and make money off of it. In what world would THAT be legal?

Jenny

She did take my content down.

So why am I still so ANGRY?

After I calm down I’m going to write a very thorough article about how to avoid this situation (and no, the answer is not to TURN OFF RSS as the bad Jenny suggests)!

So… am I alone? Has this happened to any of you? And how do YOU avoid this kind of situation?

Catch more of Jenny Blackburns humorous anecdotes on being a mom, a woman, and a whole lot crazy at Absolutely Bananas.

If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for On Blogging, email jenny[@]seattlemomblogs[dot]com.

While I’m busily working at my office Monday through Friday, my kid is a few blocks away at his daycare. I’ve always felt that this is typical for us working moms. I don’t know of any company in downtown Seattle (or outside Seattle) that has on-site daycare.

Last week my sister, who doesn’t live in Washington, told me that the women in her office are constantly complaining to their Human Resources department that their company doesn’t offer on-site daycare. She said the women are up in arms about not having this option. The cherry on top is that they want the company to provide this luxury at no cost to the mothers.

Hold up.

Is this an option? Do places really offer on-site daycare for free?! And if so, where do I sign up?

When thinking of on-site daycare I instantly think of movies from the 1980’s that show a high-powered business woman, wearing a gray skirt suit, her blazer bulging from the height of her shoulder pads and her hair even higher. I picture her forcing her way up the corporate ladder, all the while her kids are stuck in the company’s daycare, never to be heard from again.

Maybe corporate daycare was a thing of the 80’s. You know, just like cocaine and crimping irons.

Or maybe, just maybe, we’ll be lucky enough to see a resurgence due to all the working mothers that are out there.

Heck, maybe all of us should go to our HR departments and also demand on-site daycares. Although I don’t think we can expect it to be free. While it is 2008, I just don’t see that happening anytime soon.

So tell, what are your thought on on-site daycare? Do you have it? Do you know of anyone that does? I’d love to hear how it works.

Isabel is a pseudonym for this Seattle-based blogger. She’s been working since the day she realized soda and lip gloss weren’t free. Isabel became a mom in 2006 and continues to work full time, outside the home, since diapers and mortgages aren’t free either. You can read far too much about her personal life at hola,isabel.

If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Double duty. One paycheck., email Isabel at holaisabel [at] gmail.com.

I have become completely enamored with Quinoa. Have you tried it? Its a whole grain that can be cooked up as a side dish to be served with that ever-boring chicken breast or grilled salmon that so many of us are eating a lot of at this resolute time of year.

Personally I get a little sick of rice, mashed potatoes and salads. I get a little creative with my meats but I like to keep side dishes simple. The problem is there are only so many simple grains you can eat before you go NUTS and switch back to mac and cheese.

Anywho. Quinoa is a magical food. Its a whole grain and a complete protein and its really simple to cook. It tastes delicious but not as delicious as it feels on your tongue. The texture is amazing.

It was actually easier to cook it the first time than to find it at the grocery store. I was able to locate it in the bulk foods section of Fred Meyer.

An easy preparation:

Rinse and drain well 1 cup of quinoa.
Sautee half a small onion in 1 Tbsp olive oil over medium heat.
Add the quinoa and sautee for 3-5 minutes until the quinoa is lightly browned.
Add 1.5 cups of chicken broth and tsp dry thyme.
Bring to a boil.
Cover, reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes or until quinoa is soft.
Fluff with a fork and serve.

What fabulous side dishes do you eat with your low-fat chicken breast?

A co-founder of Seattle Mom Blogs, professional blogger Kathryn Thompson writes too much at Daring Young Mom, The Parenting Post, and anywhere else people are willing to read. She enjoys eating cheese and playing high stakes Uno with 4-year-olds. If youre cute enough, she will probably blow on your tummy unmercifully. You can contact Kathryn by email – kathryn [at] seattlemomblogs.com.

With all the buzz around losing weight this time of year, it’s pretty easy to get dissapointed with the state of your body. Those holiday meals catch up quickly and you vow, VOW, to run/train/stretch/drink water. Right?

Or is that just me?

I realized in a fevered hurry, I’ve jumped the gun a bit. I do, in fact, have about twenty pounds to lose before returning to my pre-pregnancy weight. I should stop eating sugar because of the numbers my fasting blood sugar touts.

But the real goal here should be to reach a fitness level I can sustain for the next thirty years or so. And, most importantly, to teach my daughter that it’s OK to not be a size two.

I recently read this column on BlogHer, which completely touched me, and followed the links to here and here. I remembered my own body weight issues, my body image distortion, my eating problems. Somewhere in my mid-twenties I grew out of my hate for my body and became, generally, OK with it. Not happy, not all the time, but I started worrying about bigger things and stopped fretting quite so much.

Or maybe I just sort of gave up because chocolate was just so very yummy.

Either way, I ended up in a place, a little pudgy in the middle, a little unhappy about it but unwilling to freak out at the same time. I’m not sure I could tell my daughter how to reach this very “zen” where you can strive for a better fitness level without hating your own thighs but I believe in my heart she will learn from me more than the TV/Magazines/Peer pressure will teach her. That’s my hope, anyway, and it starts now. Today.

I want to vow to never let my daughter see me fret over my weight, to hear me utter the words, “I feel so fat” or to notice me cast my eyes away from the mirror when the body that produced my wonderful children stares up at me with a saggy mind of its own. I want to convey to her the importance of health and fitness, working out and eating right, drinking water, and being responsible with the body she has. I want her to be active and happy and to know she is ok, beautiful even, on the days she doesn’t feel like it. I want her to feel empowered by her body instead of held back. Somehow, we have to teach our little girls that a belly isn’t made to be flat and thighs can be powerful and strong.

There’s a happy medium between what Hollywood says and the 50% of obesity rate in children.

Maybe our New Years resolution should be to change how we think about fitness.

And then, to go do it.

*Don’t I wish I felt this free about my own self?

Read more of Leslie’s sarcastic blahblablah at Mrs. Flinger and find podcast reviews, interviews, crafts, events and topics for the Seattle Parent at Mamaspod.Com. If you have questions, anecdotes, or topics for Mom Friendly Fitness, email .