December – okay let’s face it, November – brings with it the anticipation of what many people, regardless of religious affiliation, refer to as the biggest holiday of the year.
And the well-known icon associated with that holiday?
Santa Claus.
It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, you most likely know the story of Santa. You’ve probably been exposed to the idea of putting out cookies for him, hanging stockings on the mantel (or near it), writing the man who resides at the North Pole a letter and trying to stay up as late as you can, hoping for an opportunity to catch him in the act.
It is nearly impossible to go anywhere in the month of December without running into an image of Santa. Just go ahead and try to brave the local mall without seeing him in person, wandering around during his designated “break” from sitting in his big red velvet chair and having thousands of kids tell him their Christmas wishes.
Santa is everywhere!
And if your kids are anything like mine, you’ve also been asked no less than a hundred times, “Mom, are you Santa?”
Now, I am all for truth-telling in my home. However, there are some things that I feel just should not be disclosed when it comes to children.
Santa is one of them.
I don’t care how old they are, I will never, ever tell them that Santa is not real. I may wink at them when they are parents themselves, trying to figure out what to put in their own kids’ stockings, but you will never catch me uttering those fateful, dream-ending, innocence-gone, earth-shattering words, “there is no such thing as Santa Claus.”
Why? What’s the big deal?
The big deal is that kids need to have any shred of innocence and imagination that they can get in our world. We can’t control many things that they will be confronted with in life, but we can control the little things. We can control the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. We can read them The Nutcracker and see the wonder in their eyes when they gaze upon the little wooden man put out for decoration this time of year. We can bask in the excitement and anticipation they feel as the house gets cozier, the weather gets colder and the television is brimming with Christmas specials, causing them more excitement than known to man when they find out they will be allowed to stay up a little pastbedtime to watch them. We can tell them the stories, religious or not, that surround this magical time of year. We can share with them all the cookie-baking and carol-singing.
And for one month they will listen.
It doesn’t matter if they are four or fourteen, when they ask me if I am Santa, I will say “I hope not.” And I will mean it.
To me, there is nothing more sad than a kid who’s been told that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.
A few weeks ago, my nephew’s guitar instructor informed him, “well, you know that Santa isn’t really real, don’t you?” My nephew is eleven. Chances are that he’d figured this out, if he hadn’t already. But to be told, by an adult, that the one thing everyone is allowed to believe in at Christmastime isn’t real?
Now the magic is gone for him. Once a kid hears those words from a grown-up, there is no turning back time.
So let’s try, even if we think it’s silly, even if we know better, to keep a little wonder alive in our children for as long as we can. Yes, there is going to come a day when they figure it out. They may even find your stash of stocking stuffers and recognize them when they appear on Christmas morning. And when they do, I will respond with a wink and a knowing look, and nothing more.
They are only children once, and when it comes to Santa Claus, we only get one shot not to mess that up for them.
Carrie is a stay-at-home mother of three and wife to one busy firefighter. You can read more of Carrie’s mothering meanderings at her personal blog, Third Time’s a Charm?, or send questions, topics or suggestions to carrieb{at}seattlemomblogs.com.
Thanks for the encouraging thoughts. We have a few years to go yet as to the questions about Santa as our boys are just beginning to understand the idea of him, but definitely thoughts to keep in mind as they get older.
Amen, sister! I am SO glad you said this. I will never forget when I was told there is no Santa. I was 10, and it was HORRIBLE. I remember sobbing and then saying, “What about the Easter Bunny? What about the Tooth Fairy?” My mom confirmed that they were all made up. I was sincerely crushed, but to this day my mom claims it was because I thought I wouldn’t get presents anymore. That is NOT why I was crushed. It was because the magic had just gone down the drain. It was truly a disheartening experience and I never want to do that to my kids! Thank you for blogging about this.
Sign me,
Still Sad About Santa
I’m pushing this Santa for as long as I can.
“He” gets my daughter to behave and use the bathroom.
Way to go! I love the wink & the nod. Esp. with a much younger sister, the boys can keep it going a loooong time. I have to remember not to write “Santa” on other packages, so as not to confuse. And I still love that Dad, Ryan & I hang our stockings, plus ones for the guests we may have. Lots of merriment that way!
I agree with you! Kids lose their innocence much too quickly!
I definitely believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, and when you are little, Santa is just a great way to reinforce the idea … when done right!
Fabulous post, as usual
!!
well, I disagree (although fear not, i am not going around telling all the children that there is no Santa… just my own) I wrote a post about this a while back. You can read it here:
http://paintedmaypole.blogspot.com/2007/09/on-magical-beings.html
I like your plan sis. Just make sure you dont tell the Jim Gaffigan version of Christmas around them and everything will work out fine.
Although there is a certain magic to that story as well.
I also disagree, but again- just telling this to my children, who will keep it to themselves. The last thing I want is for them to ruin someone else’s holiday. I want the kids to know about Saint Nicholas, and I hope that they will believe in real “magic” of the holidays.
Frankly- I don’t think they are missing out on anything, I work hard for them to have the same feelings of anticipation, and excitement.
I disagree too. There can be plenty of magic even when your kids stop believing. Innocence is also highly overrated, IMO. One can be a child full of wonder and still understand a little of the way the world works.
For more on my opinions on Santa and innocence (along with a wonderful alternative to the Nutcracker), see my blog.
http://mylattebebe.wordpress.com/
I echo what Creative Type Dad said. We love Santa if for nothing else but that he gets B & J to behave
Seriously though agreed it’s harmless and fun!
I remember telling my son that there was no tooth fairy as he pulled all his teeth out i used to leave money from the tooth fairy. I was annoyed when i saw him with no teeth and i blurtted out that theres no tooth fairy and no farther Christmas. The expression on his face will live with me forever.
Innocence is a wonderful thing!
I was driving home in my truck one day when my son saw the sun breakthrough the clouds and shafts of sunlight radiadiated to the ground. He said ” is God talking to somebody, Dad ”
What a wonderful thought!
Becareful what you say on the spur of the moment.
i now it`s a littel funny but steel i now when u become a parents it will be really really haed but i need to wate a long time from now im a kid and i now santa is not real
so thanks
I think the most telling comment in this thread is by Snafu Suz:
“I was 10, and it was HORRIBLE. I remember sobbing…
I found out when I was in 1st grade, and it was fine. I was told that now I was in on the adults’ ’secret’ and to not let on to the other kids. What a great feeling! Then, I got to be on the other side of it, wink back at my folks, and it made me feel fantastic. Of course, I was still a kid, it doesn’t really matter HOW the presents get under the tree, as long as they get there. I still got stockings and presents from ’santa’, still do. And I sometimes give gifts to children and adults as ’santa’. It’s the spirit, not the literal, that counts for me. That message was given to me early and I’m very thankfull for it.
From my research, the evidence seems to point to this: the longer you wait, the more traumatic it is. I wonder if parents who were traumatized by the news as kids tend to wait longer to tell their own?
I’m in total agreement with you (I clicked over from Daring Young Mom.)
Kids today are pushed by the media, pop culture and even adults…I despise what that guitar teacher did…so why push it?
Besides, it’s all part of the magic and wonder of the season. I remember I was about 9 when I suspected Santa wasn’t real and when my mom confirmed it? Well, Christmas just wasn’t the same after that.
I say there’s nothing wrong with encouraging a little childhood wonder and magic. In fact, there is something sweet and innocent about the “Santa years.” I know some parents disagree, though.