Seattle Mom Blogs

Lately my husband and I are realizing that having one child is hard. I’m sure that having two or more children has its own unique issues. But here’s the thing about having just one: YOU (the parents) are the playmates. All day, every day, we are bombarded with demands to play:

“Mom, you be Zurg and I’ll be Buzz.”
“Dad, you pretend to be a tiger and chase me.”
“Mom, I’ll hide in my bed and you try to find me.”

To be honest, it’s exhausting. There’s a reason why kids play so well together… they have the same interests, inclinations, and (let’s face it) energy level. I just plain don’t. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get CJ to want to drink coffee and read the newspaper with me. So we decided that our darling son needs some playmates, and fast.

So… now what? Our circle of friends is decidedly lacking in the 3-4 year old area. And this leads me to my topic of the day.

Despite preschool, despite daily visits to the playground, zoo, and other child-friendly destinations, despite ex-coworkers and neighbors who have children, I find myself wondering,

How does a person make new friends in this city?

It brings to mind this article in Pacific Northwest magazine about “The Seattle Freeze.”

the dichotomy most fundamental to our collective civic character is this: Polite but distant. Have a nice day. Somewhere else…

Seattle is like that popular girl in high school. The one who gets your vote for homecoming queen because she always smiles and says hello. But she doesn’t know your name and doesn’t care to. She doesn’t want to be your friend. She’s just being nice.

More recently, I saw the Seattle Freeze debated again on Yelp. Seems that it’s alive and well.

I’ve been in Seattle for 10 years, longer than I’ve lived anywhere else. I consider it home, but really I’m a transplant. My husband was born & raised right here, so he’s what you’d call a native.

This is our experience.

• Seattleites are fairly friendly on the surface (although it’s not uncommon to be avoided altogether by a parent whose child yours has bonded with at the playground. Must. Not. Make. Eye. Contact.)
• You can sometimes make a friend where you least expect to.
• But be wary (very wary) of actually TRYING to make friends here. This makes you appear desperate, needy, and is the equivalent of wearing a sign that reads “I AM A LOSER; AVOID ME AT ALL COSTS”

Even 3 year olds encounter “the freeze.”
Just yesterday, at the Zoomazium, CJ went up to a little boy and tapped him on the shoulder. “Do you want to play with me?” The little boy looked up at the ceiling and calmly ignored CJ until his mom came to ‘rescue’ him from the affront of a strange little boy trying to be his friend.

photo by

As she studiously ignored my son, I could imagine her thinking, “What’s wrong with that boy? Why does he want to play with my child? Doesn’t he know that kids should keep to themselves at play areas?”

It’s gotten to the point where every time CJ goes out to try and make a friend I find myself cringing, wanting to pull him back, afraid of the possible rejection. But for every few failed attempts there’s the friendly one, the one that DOES want to play… and so we keep trying.

For the sake of openness and transparency, I will admit that I at times am prone to these same snobbish behaviors. I like to think that most of the time I’m a pretty friendly person, willing to talk to just about anyone. BUT if a person acts too friendly, too needy, I feel myself withdraw. Why are they so friendly? Do they want something from me? Is there something wrong with them? I know, I know, it’s not cool to act this way. But admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery, right? I do solemnly swear to be more friendly (truly friendly, not just surface friendly), to be more open-minded, and not to freeze out the poor people who are just trying to make a friend.

Then again, is it really just Seattle? ,
Can we honestly blame the Freeze on the good people of Seattle (and this I know- they ARE good people). Is it all the rain that gets us a bit muddled in our social ways? Or is the Freeze more of a general tendency of today’s society towards exclusion and solitude, as inferred by this article on LiveScience.com?

What’s your experience?
Have you encountered the “Seattle Freeze”? Is it unique to Seattle? And how does a person go about finding new friends (with children of similar ages to yours) in this town?

We did it! We did it!

I think it’s Dora who chants that line at the end of her show, isn’t it?

Anyhow, here we sit at the end of a marathon potty training endeavor, and I think we have actually done it. Or CJ did it, anyway.

So, for posterity, here are the LESSONS I LEARNED along the way:

1. The child has to be ready.
It doesn’t matter how ready YOU are- you’re already potty trained (I hope). Key signs of being ready include:

• Regular BM’s at the same time each day
• An interest in the toilet
• Awareness of when he’s gone, or ideally when he’s about to go
• He doesn’t like having a dirty diaper, and asks you to change it.
• He is coordinated enough to do things like: pull his pants up and down.

2. Be prepared to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. And then to spend some more time there.
What I didn’t expect, wasn’t prepared for, and probably the reason our previous attempts failed miserably, is that you end up spending a LOT of time sitting in the bathroom. He didn’t know how to do it, so it was a matter of waiting for it to happen (like watching for the pot to boil, if you know what I’m saying). With that in mind, here are some tips:

• Have books to read in the bathroom (what man doesn’t like a good read on the john?!) Toy catalogs work really well too.
• Reserve special toys that are only to be played with while on the toilet.
• If you’re the kind of person who would rather do something than sit in the bathroom for extended periods of time, OR if your child wants privacy, consider getting a mini DVD player (you can get them for just $100) and letting them watch DVDs on the toilet. Worked like a dream for me!

3. Underwear are messy, but pull-ups don’t work
The first several times that we tried, we used pull-ups. Then someone told us that PULL-UPS DON’T WORK; you have to use underwear. So we tried that. But after 4 or so BM’s in the underwear we ran back to Pull-ups with open arms. It’s a no-win situation to be sure, but the simple fact is, Pull-ups don’t work. I’ve been there, got the T-shirt. They’re too comfortable, too easy… the reasons that YOU like them are the same reasons why kids want to keep wearing them. So, make sure you’re in a mentally stable state of mind and then COMMIT… underwear and only underwear, no matter what. It’s a little like wedding vows… through thick and thin, dry and wet… (that’s not what they say, is it? Oh well it’s been almost 10 years since I said mine…)

4. Repeat after me: “My child is unique.”
Seriously. It’s easy to get disheartened by your neighbor’s story of her 2-year old who potty trained in a day. But every child is different. If this is your child’s battle, so be it. Your neighbor will probably end up with a kid on parole (or so you can tell yourself in the more depressing moments). What worked for that other kid (or my kid) might not work for your kid. You just have to keep trying until something sticks.

Good luck! (you’re going to need it)

Related resources that I found helpful:
- Potty Training Tips (website)
- Baby Center: Toilet Training Preparation (website)
- Potty Training articles on About.com
- Dr. Greene on potty training (website)
- Potty Training topics on Keepkidshealthy.com
- Everyone Poops (children’s book; very graphic but informative)
-

The whole series:
1. The Potty Training Blues
2. The Potty Training Initiative: Transformerations
3. The Potty Training Saga: Constipation Nation

Yesterday, after popping out a big one, CJ said to me, “I’m a good pooper, aren’t I mom?” Yes you are. And some day those words WILL be used against you (evil laugh).

There’s nothing worse than a week (or more!) of rainy days, with nothing but the same stretching out ahead… so, I’m going to start compiling a list of places to go and things to do on rainy days to keep the kiddies (and you!) from going stir-crazy.

Zoomazium
Covered play area at University Village
Seattle Public Library
The Seattle Aquarium
The Pacific Science Center
The Children’s Museum
The Museum of Flight
KidsQuest Children’s Museum
Arena Sports Fun Zone at Magnuson Park

Zoomazium at Woodland Park Zoo

Zoomazium building

Location: N. 50th and Fremont Ave N. (Seattle)
Price: Included in zoo admission (hint: get a zoo pass!)
Hours: 10am-4pm daily

The zoomazium is brand-new to the Woodland Park Zoo, and what a great addition! An all indoor play area… with a huge tree-house where kids can climb, play, and slide down… climbing rocks and caves, a nature exploration area, and even an area for toddlers. A trip here will keep CJ (our 3 year old) occupied for hours! The zoo also has a rainy day guide to sheltered exhibits for a fairly dry tour of the zoo.

Pros: lots to do; lots of kids
Cons: on busy days, the quantity of screaming children can be overwhelming
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Covered play area at University Village
Location:
Price: free
Hours: 9:30am-9:00pm Mon-Sat; 11am-6pm Sun

University Village shopping area just rebuilt the toddler play area in the center of this outdoor mall. It’s fairly small, but just enough to keep the kids entertained in an outdoor (but dry!) environment. Has a small climbing structure with slide, bouncy riding toys, soft astro-turf, and is surrounded by excellent shopping, dining, and more! I follow it up with stops at Pottery Barn kids and Kids’ Club; both have train tables out that kids can play at while you browse.

Pros: fresh air; free; with shopping and coffee right next door for you!
Cons: the Hanna Andersen and Kids’ Club conveniently located right next to the play area might prove to be too tempting for a splurge.
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The Seattle Public Library
Price: free
Hours: check website

Find the library closest to you and visit often. All have excellent children’s sections, with more than just books– check out stuffed animals, games, puzzles, and more. Also look for story time at most libraries on a weekly basis! See My love affair with the library for more library info

Pros: Introduce children early to the joys of the library.
Cons: The calm quiet environment may be too much for a toddler with excess pent-up energy
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The Seattle Aquarium
Location:
Price: $12.50 adult; $8.50 youth (6-12); $5.50 child (2-5); 2 and under free
Hours: 10am-5pm daily

Located on the downtown Seattle waterfront, the Seattle Aquarium is definitely worth a visit. Lots to see and do here.

Pros: Great for entertaining out-of-towners. One of my favorite exhibits is the “Life on the Edge” tidepool, where children get to touch the sea stars and other live tidepool animals.
Cons: Note that most of the aquarium is quite dark, so it can be stressful to keep track of your children here when it’s crowded. Also, many of the aquariums are too high for small children, or those in strollers, to see into. Parking can be difficult on weekends.
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The Pacific Science Center
Location:
Price: $10 adults, $7 juniors (3-7), more if you add an iMAX film
Hours: 10am-5pm weekdays; 10am-6pm weekends

There’s always a lot to do at the Science Center; pack a lunch and spend most of a day here! Or invest in a pass and drop in for just one exhibit at a time. Lots to do for all ages of children (fun and interesting for adults too!)

Pros: Always a hit with out-of-towners; lots to do
Cons: Parking downtown can be a pain (or expensive). Fairly pricey if you don’t stay for most of a day.
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The Children’s Museum
Location:
Price: $7.50 adults & children, $6.50 grandparents, babies under 1 free
Hours: 10am-5pm weekdays; 10am-6pm weekend

A museum designed just for kids… with many interactive exhibits that give kids hands-on experience with other cultures and ideas. If your wallet can handle it, consider combining a trip to The Children’s Museum with a stop at the Pacific Science Center for all-day fun.

Pros: Engaging for kids; can keep them occupied for a long time!
Cons: I hate to be the one to say it, but it’s getting pretty old & dingy… actually gave us adults the creeps the last time we were there! And all that hands-on learning always gives me the shivers during cold/flu season… and parking can be a hassle.
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The Museum of Flight
Location:
Price: $14 adults, $7 youth (5-17), children 4 and under free, $13 seniors (65+)
Hours: 10am-5pm daily. Airpark is open 11am-4:30pm summer (May-Sept) and 11am-3:30 winter (Oct-Apr)

Located just off of I5, close to Boeing field, the Museum of Flight is a hit for children and adults alike. I love the open space with full-size airplanes suspended as if in flight. The outside airpark has fascinating airplanes to tour including a Concorde and the first jet Airforce One.

Pros: Interesting for adults as well as children; especially good for kids who love airplanes.
Cons: For really little kids, interest may wane too quickly to justify the price of your admission.
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KidsQuest Children’s Museum
Location:
Price: $6 ages 1-100, under 1 free
Hours: 10am-5pm Tues-Sat, open till 8pm Fri, 12pm-5pm Sun, closed Mon.

I had lived in Seattle with a child for 3 1/2 years before I visited the KidsQuest Children’s Museum for the first time. And boy, was I was missing out! Located inside Factorial Mall, this is a great rainy day destination. For us, it’s a bit of a drive, but worth it. Relatively new space, with lots for kids to explore, engage with, and learn from.

Pros: A lot to see and do; great entertainment for a variety of ages.
Cons: When crowded, the space can be overwhelming. Personally I find it irritating to have to pay admission as an adult, when I’m really just there to supervise, but that’s a pet peeve of mine.
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Arena Sports Fun Zone at Magnuson Park
Location:
Price: $7 per child or $5 per child (Arena Sports members). $25 session pass allows 3 unlimited months access for all family members. Parents free with child.
Hours: 9:30am-3:30pm M-F, 9:30am-1pm Sat. Hours may vary without notice, contact to verify hours of operation.

Located in a huge airplane anchor at Magnuson Park, the Fun Zone features three enormous blow-up toys. Better for kids age 3 and up, as older kids playing on the structures can make it a bit scary. A great way to get their energy out on a rainy afternoon. Note that it is very cold in the hangar, so dress warm!

Pros: Great for getting kids’ energy out on a rainy day. Our son LOVES the huge slide and bouncy house.
Cons: Not typically monitored by anyone other than parents, so when there are a lot of kids, especially older ones, it can be scary. Cold!
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Add a comment or if you know of other great rainy day spots that I should add to this list!

Ah potty training.

Giving birth was HORRIBLY hard. Converting to the bottle; a distinct challenge. Learning to adapt to daycare; a nightmare. But potty training? It just might be the worst yet.

I am what you’d call squeamish… easily grossed out. I hate bathrooms. I don’t eat meat with fat on it (most meat is suspect, really), I won’t touch raw chicken, and I DESPISE cleaning (or even touching) the toilet. I avoid dirty diapers like they are the plague and will go to great lengths to avoid public restrooms.

So THIS PROCESS, by which you spend HOURS and HOURS in the bathroom looking, talking, touching… it’s enough to send me into fits!

That said, I think we’re getting there. CJ is more determined than ever before to do his duty (doody? heh heh) on the toilet rather than in his pants, which, I must say, is a HUGE LEAP FOR MANKIND (forget landing on the moon; THIS is noteworthy). Probably because we told him that he could only have his BIG HUGE Transformer as long as he’s using the toilet, but hey- whatever it takes!

Unfortunately, the process is extremely stressful for him, and the end result is, well, “corkage” for lack of better word.

…Back to the Internet to do more research… turns out constipation is quite a common problem when children are potty training.

…Off to the store to buy natural stool softeners (even that WORD sends shivers of horror up my spine)

…Juice, prunes, and oh the waiting. We are spending hours in the bathroom.

…and finally, GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH, we have movement. A bowel movement, that is. Will miracles never cease? I hate to flush it, for in fact, THIS might be the 8th wonder of the world.

Related:
The Potty Training Initiative
The Potty Training Initiative: Transformerations

Visit Bananas’ Personal Blog

On Friday we kicked off The Potty Training Initiative. With much fear and trepidation, we made the switch from pull-ups to underwear.

To kick off our grand plan, I went to Target and bought some poster-board, stickers, markers, and some tiny Transformers for which CJ is DESPERATE. And wah-la, we had a system! Each time he pees in the toilet, he gets a sticker. After five stickers, he gets a Transformer. For pooping on the toilet (a feat he has yet to master), we will drive to Target and get a BIG HUGE TRANSFORMER.

Right away he was all about peeing, and he had that first Transformer in a matter of hours. (will-power is not something that this child lacks)

But… within 6 hours we had a case of poop in the underwear to deal with. Horrifying, really. I will spare you the details. Potty training attempt #32 was going right down the, err, toilet… just like all of our previous attempts.

Desperately, I turned to the Internet, searching for words of wisdom that would show me the way to dry underwear bliss.

My search turned up much that I’d read before, but I did find a couple of nuggets of wisdom that stood out.

1) sometimes kids just need some privacy
2) reserve special toys for playing with on the toilet. This transforms the toilet from a scary, uncomfortable, and slightly embarrassing place to a treasure trove of delight.

So… I pulled out one of the Transformers, handed it to CJ with the instructions that he could ONLY play with it while sitting on the toilet (unless he pooped, in which case I would give him ANYTHING in the universe), then vacated the premises.

And within 20 minutes, we had success!! I have never been so excited by something so small yet stinky. Ah, the lows of parenting.

CJ said to me last night when I was putting him to bed (his BIG HUGE ridiculously overpriced Transformer snuggled at his side), “I’m a big boy, aren’t I mom?” Yes, you’re a big boy. Sigh. I could see the wheels turning in his head and sure enough, a few minutes later he popped out with, “Next time I go poopy on the toilet, I’m going to get a BIG RED Transformer.” Oh dear, what have we done?

Visit Bananas’ Personal Blog

Yesterday something happened here in Seattle that is phenomenon this time of yearthe sun came out.

Far be it from me toEVER let a sunny dayin SEATTLEslip through my fingers. There is a reason they call it The Emerald City, if youre lucky enough to be here when it shines, its the most beautiful city in the United States.

So I loaded up the three large dogs, and three small kids, and headed to a 240 acre dog park.

When I think of dog park I think of the California variety, a nice chain link fence, water fountains, even the courtesy dog bowls left near picnic benches. Uh-uh, dont kid yourself my dearspeople in the northwest are no frills.

Sorry for that tangent.

Needless to say, mommy was unprepared for the hike at the dog park. It was huge, but there were no chain link fences. There was a simple fence made out of three pieces of wood, and some postswith a beauty bark path that led us to vast hills covered in rough terrain.

People and their dogs flooded the place. On 240 acres of land, I would have thought it would feel emptier. I guessthousands of othersalso wanted to take advantage of the one sunny day well see for the next three weeks.

But withBubba ina backpack and Buster was holding one dog while I had two, we trudged along. Of course Missy, being a three year old was walking around in her own little world, unaware of mommys struggle towards the unknown. I think I had whiplash from constantly checking on her.I did get many looks of bewilderment at my brood. A little girl came up to me and courteously informed me that I could let my dogs off leash. Ahhhh! Only the innocent could have suggested such a thing.

But I did. I had too. It was a dog park!And I had to let Bubba out of the back pack because he was murdering my back. Hes quite large for his age. Hence the nickname.

Another tangent, sorry.

Have you ever herded cattle? Sheep maybe? Three dogs and three kids? I sweat-ed it out a little because there were so many dogs there and so much land it was hard to keep mine straight. But as Ive expressed before, the dogs were very obedient, and thankful for my hard work. And thirsty. It was 65 degrees but to us it fekt like 80. Our bodies are still thawing out from frostbite.

The kids can thank me later when theyre well adjusted adults.

It really was a beautiful day. I think God knew how much I needed that sun.

Did I mention thatnew shoots are springing up from the bulbs in the flower boxes, and there are these little yellow flowers pushing their way through the leaves in front of our house. Spring is around the corner andIm more than ready for it.

Visit Eve’s Personal Blog

Hello, my name is Jenny and I have a 3 1/2 year old son who is not potty trained. (nervous silence) It all started normally… he was a happy healthy baby, who seemed to be hitting all the major milestones, at least within a month or two. We never expected this to be a problem. Naively, we bought the underwear and potty chair– read him the potty training books and showed him the movies, set up the reward system…

But alas, our perfect little boy would create the perfect storm by REFUSING to be potty trained. Oh, sure, he played along for while. But in the end, he just didn’t go for it. We tried more treats, new rewards… fancy underwear… still no luck.

So, we thought, ok- so he’s not ready. We’ll give him some space and surely he’ll decide to go on his own. We waited, and waited, and waited… well, we’re still waiting to be quite honest.

(long uncomfortable silence)

There are many who would judge. We didn’t do it correctly, we’re not patient enough, we went about it all wrong. If we just tried (fill in the blank) it would work… And maybe they’re right.

But here’s the thing. When you outweigh and outnumber a child, there are a lot of things that you can make him do… get in the car, go to bed, get dressed. But you CANNOT make a child go on the toilet. You can plead, threaten, cajole, bribe… but when it comes right down to it, if he doesn’t want to go, HE WON’T GO. It’s one of those sad facts of life, like death or taxes (only more messy).

So… After another guilt trip, and another episode of “surely if we just force the issue,” we’re about to embark on ATTEMPT #32. Let’s hope this time’s the charm.

We’ve got the Spiderman underwear, the reward system, and the special seat all in place.

Here’s hoping!

Visit Bananas’ Personal Blog

One of the things about not having very much money is that it forces you to be creative.

Where before I would go out and buy the latest New York Times bestseller, now I’m much more stingy with that $30 (that’s HALF a dinner out!)

So… I’ve gotten reacquainted with the Seattle Public Library. And I have to say, I’M A FAN.

Who knew?

• You can reserve books online and have them delivered to the library near you for FREE
• The library has DVDs… which you can also reserve online… also FREE
• You can renew books up to 3 times, online
• If you check out a book at one library, you can return it to any other library in the system
• Every library has a children’s section complete with TOYS, puzzles, drawing paper and crayons, and games
• The checkout system is fully automated (and highly efficient, once you figure it out)
• You can sign up to get reminders (books coming due, books on hold are ready, etc. by email)
• Fines for being late are minimal, UNLIKE those pesky video stores

What’s NOT to love?

Here’s my secrets for getting the most out of my local library.

• Use (or other online book store) to find books that interest you using features like “More like this” and “Other people who liked this book also liked.” Hop on over to the SPL website and search for the ones you’re interested in, and then put them on hold. Before you know it, you have a backlog of great books just waiting to be read!
• Use the library as a way to preview children’s books, cookbooks, how-to books, etc before buying — let me tell you, after you’ve had the book 3 weeks (or more), you’ll KNOW whether it’s worth buying.

Related Links
* Seattle Public Library website
* Make a donation to the Seattle Public Library

Visit Bananas’ Personal Blog