Kids and the City
Kids and Cell Phones
“Mom, mom, I really want a cell phone!”
”But you don’t even talk on the regular phone, why do you need a cell phone?”
”I just do . . . everyone has a cell phone.”
”Well, we’re not everyone.”
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve had this conversation with my 11 year-old son, well, you know how rich I would be.
It’s not that I don’t understand his want to have a beloved cell phone, one he can hang from his backpack and download the coolest games onto. A phone he can text his friends with on his way to school, one he can customize with his very own ring tone.
But are these reasons to give a kid a cell phone?
Until now, we have been strictly anti-cell phone for kids in our family. I, myself, really try to only use my cell phone when it is absolutely necessary. Although I occasionally break that rule, my friends can attest to the fact that I hardly even answer the thing. But this isn’t about me.
With the recent additions of middle school and more responsibility for our children, my husband and I have decided that the time has come to get the kids a cell phone.
Gasp!
A cell phone. For our kids? Are we crazy? Now, hear me out. We call this cell phone the “family phone.” And it is just that. it does not belong to either of the boys and it certainly does not belong to our 4 year-old daughter (she does just fine with her sparkly Cinderella phone, the one that she can call her fairy godmother on). We added a third line to our existing 2-phone plan and picked out it’s color together (blue). Don’t ask me what the number is for it, because I have no idea.
The plan for this phone is not for our children to rack up hundreds of dollars in text messaging each month or to chit chat with their friends. They are more than welcome to send their friends an email or use the antiquated land line if they so wish. The plan is not for them to bring the phone to school, I think phones are way to distracting in an educational environment and unnecessary - as there are plenty of phones on school grounds and responsible adults to help in an event warranting a call home. The plan is for this phone to be available to them when they need it. Keyword: need.
When our oldest wants to meet his friends at the park, I feel more comfortable sending him if he has a phone. If the boys want to ride their bikes to the store, they take the family phone. If, for any reason, I would need to leave them at soccer practice or taekwondo, or they want to go somewhere with a friend whose parents don’t have a cell phone, they could take the blue family phone.
I know that a cell phone is not a replacement for a parent, believe me, I know. But our older children are old enough to be able to handle the responsibility, along with the freedom, that the phone provides. When I was their age, I was allowed to explore our neighborhood with my friends, answering only to the call of my mother’s whistle when it was time to come home. I want the same for my kids, and I think in this day and age letting them bring a cell phone along is the only way I will feel comfortable sending them out into the big bad world.
Setting guidelines and knowing your child are important in determining if they are ready for a cell phone. Making sure they follow the rules and appropriately use the phone are also important and we’ve only just begun on our journey.
I’m curious, what have others done when it comes to kids and cell phones? At what ages did you allow your children to have one, or share one, or have you decided to not allow them at all? Do the news reports regarding the safety of cell phones on developing minds have any bearing on your decision?
Tell me, what do you think?
Carrie can be found hanging out at her personal blog Stop Screaming I’m Driving! where she is kept busy wrangling three kids, one goofy Aussie, and her very own firefighter. She can be bribed with lattes and offers to do her laundry. Please send column suggestions to carrieb at seattle mom blogs dot com.
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While my oldest is only nine, we have already been having the cell phone discussion. I’m sure we will eventually get one. With more than one child doing more than one sport on different sides of town, it will become necessary. We are putting it off as long as possible. I think this year will be the test. We will have to make sure that strict rules are followed…
I agree with the family phone idea, at least for now. Of course, my oldest is only 4, so we haven’t had many conversations about cell phones. She knows how to use it already, since we’re planning on disconnecting our land line.
My sister and I shared a cell phone back in the 90’s, even in high school. It was strictly for emergencies, and worked well for us. Of course, that was before cell phones were so prevalent and important in society.
It’s the texting that really bothers me about cell phone use among teenagers. They seem to spend so much time with it. You could always look into a plan that doesn’t include texting, if that’s a major worry of yours.
As soon as my older daughter started middle school, she got a cell phone. If she was going to be taking Metro buses (we lived about a block too close for yellow bus transportaion), we wanted her to be able to reach us in a pinch. And it worked out great.
She only abused the talk time once, in high school, when she had her first boyfriend. Phone was “grounded” and she paid the overcharges. It came in handy more time than I can count, though, from missing the bus, to needing a ride to work to fill in for someone, to calling when she got hurt, and so on.
Now she is at college and pays for her own phone and I am learning how to text. It is the best way to keep in touch with her without being intrusive.
my 8 year old has a decommissioned phone we got for $5 at the Boeing Surplus store before it closed. She loves pretending to talk to people, text and listen to voice mail-heck, SHE had to show ME to to make capital letters when I started texting! She can’t stand it, but she will need to wait until she is taking Metro buses to school before she gets a real one.
She does have a few friends who have them. They are kids with divorced parents where one drops them off, the other picks up-it seems to keep the confusion about that to a minimum.
CJ not only wants a phone, he wants an iPhone. The kid is five. Somebody save me from what’s to come!
Growing up in middle school wasn’t about cell phones for me. And this was only 9 years ago since then. Times change fast!
Yes, Olivier, times are changing fast! It’s hard to keep up. Thank you for your input, it’s nice to see a young face around here!
My children ages 7 and 5 each have a Firefly cell phone that I added our ATT wireless plan.
My son got his the summer after Kindergarten after a few incidents where a cell phone would have reduced my risk of a heart of a attack.
Learned my lesson and got my daughter her phone this past summer before Kindergarten so we could practice using it.
They each carry their phone in their backpack to school. Or on their person if they are going to be at a friend or family member’s house or on a field trip.
There are only 5 buttons including mom and dad buttons. Only numbers we’ve programmed into the phone book can call their phones.
I feel better knowing they can call me if they need to.