Kids and the City

Let’s Talk About Playdates

Playdate.  Just saying the word outloud makes me want to hide under the sheets and never come out.  That isn’t to say that I do not see the benefit of providing regular and stimulating activities for very young children involving their peers, but it is just that sometimes, I get a little “playdated out.”

 When my boys were little, before they started their formal educational training (elementary school), the playdate conundrum was easy to avoid because I had two kids so close in age.  Yes, they attended preschool together and we did several “mommy and me” storytimes at our local library mixed in with tons of time logged in at the park.  They ran and played and generally cavorted with their mates, who consisted of our neighbors, a few school friends and my best friend’s son.  They had enough playmates, outside of their sibling relationship, and I think I wasn’t too harassed by “playdate seekers” because other parents were probably afraid of my rowdy boy children.

 Now that their sister is becoming quite the little social butterfly, the playdate problem is rearing it’s ugly head.

I do love the fact that my daughter makes friends easily and I do not want to discourage that trait in any way.  But sometimes, it can be a pain for me.  Sometimes I don’t want to have to make up an excuse as to why she can’t come out to play right this very minute because we are, simply, exhausted from our morning and taking a little break before the boys come home and all chaos breaks loose.

 Sometimes, a birthday party invitation for every weekend is too much.  I have to teach her that we can’t say “yes” every time we are asked to do something because we need to prioritize how we spend the free time that we do have.

 But it is tricky, trying to figure all of this out.  Yet another parenting curveball thrown my direction by my last baby that I never saw coming and have no idea how to deal with!

 I find that as a parent of a younger child with older siblings, the rules have changed on me.  I wish someone had given me a guidebook to take me through these new waters or at least a map so that I would not feel so lost!  It is hard to feel like you are giving your youngest the same experiences that her brothers had when they were her age.  I do have to remind myself constantly that it doesn’ t need to be exactly the same, that is a ridiculous expectation and I need to just make sure that I’m being as good a parent I know how to be for her. 

When it comes to playdates, she does do less during the week than her brothers did.  But she escorts them to their various activities with me in the evenings.  Come to think of it, she isn’t the only younger sibling at taekwondo or baseball.  In fact, there are quite a few, and what do they do while their older brothers are playing baseball?  They run around playing with each other. . .

Kind of like a playdate, but less organized.

I guess I’m not doing half-bad on the playdate scene after all.  But could someone please tell that to the other mommies who are on their first kids and want to play every single minute?

Carrie is a stay-at-home mother of three and wife to one busy firefighter. You can read more of Carrie’s mothering meanderings at her personal blog, Third Time’s A Charm? Please send suggestions to carrieb[at]seattlemomblogs.com.