tips and tricks
Parenting Hints to Avoid Issues Later
No one really wants their kids to end up on jail, except maybe some parents of preschoolers who think any way they can get silence is worth it. That’s a fairly short period of time.
1. When your 2 year old is having a screaming fit on the floor of Target walk away. Really. The minute they notice you are gone (you’re not really gone, you’re just hiding behind a rack of cheap clothing) they will stop screaming bloody murder and will ask for you. By all means, go back and save them. If they haven’t forgotten the candy bar they were having the fit about, run like the wind out of Target. I am totally serious, run with the kid in arms and leave. If you give in to tantrums at 2 you are gonna get reamed when they are 14. I have left all the food in a cart and walked out of a store because of a son’s tantrum numerous times.
2. Tantrums at home should be confined to their bedrooms. I would cart them upstairs, put them in their rooms and tell them not to come out until they could talk to me in a nice calm friendly voice. They might try to keep leaving their room but if they weren’t calm they’d go right back. (They had very few things in their rooms they could destroy that I cared about. One son put a hole in his wall and there it stayed until we moved. He did not like that.)3. Follow through on your threats. I told a four year old BPB to stop slamming his door(in our brand new, just built house) and yet he kept slamming it every 5 seconds. I got out the drill and took the door off. He was like: wha da? Mommy, what are you doing?” “Taking off the door you keep slamming. You cannot stop yourself from slamming the door so I am going to help you by removing your door.” “But Mommy, I don’t want my door off…………” “Hmmm, sorry but I warned you. No more door until you can learn to close doors softly and without anger.”
(Hubby came home and said, “WTF?” Dude! I made a threat and I follow through, and no the door isn’t going back on until I say so.)
4. Leave when you say you’re going to leave. If it’s time to leave for preschool and child has pj’s still on, take her in her pj’s. Trust me, they’ll only do it
once. BBB came close to being at school in his underwear more times than I can count. I told him I didn’t care if he wore his underwear, it wouldn’t embarrass me at all. Within 2 minutes he’d be dressed, not color coordinated, but dressed.
5. With preschoolers and primary children set their clothes for the next day out the night before including shoes and socks. This will save you days in wasted time.
6. This is a very important one!!! Set up a bedtime routine. I don’t care what kind of routine, just do it. It can be a bath and then story time. It can be a bath then 15 minutes watching a CALMING video. It can be getting on pj’s and then saying a prayer. This routine must be one you follow all the time and anywhere you happen to be visiting. I did not do this with my first child…..call me STOOOOOOPID! By the time BBB was old enough we had it down. Bedtime was the same time every night for both of them and exceptions were rare. If you make an exception you must be ready for the fall out. They will test those bedtime limits for a week after an exception.
7. Be smart. Do NOT allow your child online without direct supervision until they are 18. OK, maybe not 18, but don’t be a moron. I know parents who allow their 8yo online without supervision. Dumb. Dumb. and Dumber. Have you never watched NBC’s catch a Predator? Never allow your child to have a computer in their room if it has internet connection, it’s like giving them a passport to Pornocity where pedophiles and serial killers hang out. For reals, this is the shiz. No exceptions. I see too many parents of 6th graders or middle schoolers who don’t know what MySpace is, let alone all the other evils to be easily accessed by any curious preteen. We are bloggers and need to be smarter than the average parent. We all have mySpace pages and are on Facebook, do we want our 11 year olds on MySpace? That is when they start now.
8. Give your child chores to be responsible for and allowance related to it. I messed up on this one and we are paying for it. My kids expect money for nothing(and their chicks for free.{old school reference}) They need to learn how to earn. Otherwise you’ll end up with your 18yo son who has no job, no degree and no motivation. It sucks, believe me. Start this at 6yo or 7yo or 8yo when your child still wants to please you. Once there’s a routine established, it’s harder for them to break you down. At some point the average kid will stop caring about their parents’ opinion between the ages of 11-14. Their peers mean more to them (in public) that you will. Suck it up. 98% of kids will do this on some level. Yes, it hurts your feelings. Your opinion is still very important to them, but they will not show that very often and NEVER when their friends are around unless their friends think you are cool, which my older son’s friends did.
9. CONSISTENCY is the most important quality after unconditional love.
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Great tips!
The only thing I would add is that instead of just leaving children in their bedrooms, leave them on their beds. This way, there is nothing (or, at least, very little) to play with. We live in a 1600 sq. ft. house, so most of my daughter’s toys are in her room. Putting her on her bed is a torture to her three-year-old mentality because she can see all her toys, but she can’t get off her bed to get to them. I suppose this only works if your child actually minds you, though…
Great tips Janice- thanks for sharing!
Moses Lake Mom~good point. We had a two story house with a family and a den so most of the toys were downstairs. I did not think of their bed. I have to say boys never stay where they are told to stay. It’s genetic. Thanks for the comment.
You be welcome Ms. Nanners.